Underworld Chronicles

WARNING! As of today, there are only 7 CHILDREN who have ever read this book and lived to tell about it. 95 CHILDREN successfully read the first chapter, but upon beginning chapter 2, they started BLABBERING in some language known only as "flibberish." 38 CHILDREN made it halfway through this wretched book before they began SUCKING THEIR THUMBS THROUGH THEIR NOSES. If you're VERY BRAVE, perhaps you are willing to TAKE YOUR CHANCES. Be sure that you have told your family who gets your favorite toys if you DO NOT SURVIVE this book. Read it now, IF YOU DARE. But don't say you haven't been warned, for this is the story that unfolds the MYSTERIES OF THE UNDERWORLD.

An entire floor of St. Phobics Hospital for Really Scared Children has been set aside just for readers of this book. You may wish to take a minute before you start reading and reserve yourself a bed there. As you read, you may begin to understand myctophobia (mic-tofo- be-a), or the fear of darkness. However, do not expect this book to help you with arachibutyrophobia (a-rak-i-something-be-a), the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. If you can't get yourself to St. Phobics, then get every lamp, flashlight, and lantern you can find and drag them into your bedroom. Turn them all on. You'll need them until you're certain there is nothing lurking in the dark. At least, that's what Elliot wishes he had done.

Experience all three tales of the Underworld Chronicles in one volume! It all starts on Halloween night, when Elliot Penster chases off some bullies attacking a girl in a brownie costume-except she wasn't in costume. And her attackers weren't bullies, but goblins! What Elliot thought was a simple act of bravery sets into motion an adventure beyond anything he could have ever imagine. By his eleventh birthday Elliot will be named the King of the Brownies, provoke a war with the goblins, wind up alone in the Underworld on a quest to Demon Territory. Join Elliot on his epic journey through the dangerously thrilling Underworld. But before you start, you should know that an entire floor of St. Phobics Hospital for Really Scared Children has been set aside just for readers of this series. You may wish to take a minute before you start reading and reserve yourself a bed there.