Trump Ninja

The greatest president you've ever had is the last president you'll ever need. When he's not making America great again, Trump Ninja fights to save the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies. Trump Ninja. My secret identity. Cat's out of the bag. I have all the best stories. You want to hear about the time I took down the Eiffel Tower? Flappity-crack. Spider kick. Pam. They never saw it coming. But this audiobook is about the time I took on Area 51. You've heard of it. Famous. Almost as famous as me. Crawling with aliens. Build a wall. Keep 'em out. America first. I'm not even going to build this audiobook up. Usually, I like to sell them a little. What can I say? I'm a terrific salesman. Some people say I'm the best. But this story is - well, some people tell me it's being nominated for an award. Maybe a lot of awards. You're going to want to start listening to this one right away. Trump Ninja vs. Area 51. Pam! Go get it. Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best seller list with the super secret history of the most tremendous and best presidency America has ever seen.

Trump has made America a laughing stock. Let's return the favor. Donald Trump does not want you to listen to his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary, and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity". We see a fossil-fuel-loving, pristine-wilderness-raping narcissist. But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. From the guy who tells scientists, "It will get cooler" and retorts that, "Well, science doesn't really know" when he's told that the science is against him, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. Trump Ninja vs. Global Warming sees our Colluder-in-Chief tilting at windmills trying to do battle with the specter of the "hoax" of climate change, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

Donald Trump is a legend in his own mind. He wants you to take him seriously. Very seriously indeed. Donald Trump does not want you to listen to his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary, and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity". The rest of us may see a conspiracy-theory-promoting, sexist, racist, homophobic, science-denying narcissistic criminal who would love to undermine the Constitution to make himself president for life. But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. From the would-be facist who wants to kill off the free press, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. Or amused outrage. Trump Ninja vs. Fake News, sees our Colluder-in-Chief in mission-impossible mode, trying to figure out how to take down The New York Times server, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

You know what Donald Trump really hates? Being laughed at. So let's laugh. Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." We see a criminal who tries to hide his tax records, misuses money from his own charities, and invokes the presidential pardon to shield business buddies and accomplices from the consequences of their actions. But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. From the guy who likes to "joke" about being president for life and asks foreign governments to dig up dirt on his political opponents, comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. Trump Ninja vs. Impeachment, sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to figure out what the word Impeachment actually means, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

Donald Trump loves uttering the words "You're fired!" Let's turn the tables. It's time to fire 45. Donald Trump does not want you to listen to his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity". We see a crooked businessman who keeps filing for bankruptcy, taking out massive, multi-hundred-million dollar loans, and poses as reality show star who turned himself into a caricature with the cruel catch phrase, "You're fired!" But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. From that kinda famous guy you (sort of) remember from a few minor roles in a couple of movies comes a brand new book for your outrage and amusement. Trump Ninja vs. Hollywood sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to get his own "original" feature film produced, while saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the conspiracy behind the conspiracies.

Donald Trump doesn't want you to fear COVID. Stay safe. Stay alive. Do the opposite of what DT wants. Donald Trump does not want you to listen to his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity". We see a COVID-denying, unscientific, un-empathetic, narcissist. But the he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. From the guy who tells scientists to try injecting patients with bleach and who thinks it's fine to kill millions of Americans to get "herd mentality", comes a brand new audiobook for your outrage and amusement. Trump Ninja vs. China Flu, sees our Colluder-in-Chief trying to distract the public from his gross negligence and mismanagement of the response to the virus killing hundreds of thousands of citizens by focusing on any and everything else. Especially the way he is saving the world from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the secret conspiracy behind the conspiracies. Excerpt from classified entry included below: “It’s this virus, sir.” This is what they’re telling me. It’s this virus. They think it’s the big one. That can only mean one thing. Zombies. “We’re going to have to get some protocols in place, sir. We may need to shut down for a while.” Obviously, we’ll need to shut down. You don’t want to mess around when it comes to zombies. I’ve seen the documentaries. Those things are bad news. Trump Ninja vs. China Flu. Kerchewie! Go get it. Trump Ninja spin-kicks his way to the best seller list with the super secret (aka fictional) history of the most tremendous and best (I just vomited in my mouth a little) presidency America has ever seen. Trump Ninja vs. China Flu is book six in the seven ook Trump Ninja series. Get them all today!

Disagree with Donald Trump? Then you are a Fake American. Donald Trump DOES NOT want you to read his (totally unauthorized and fictional) diary and he absolutely in no way wants you to know what insiders refer to as his "secret identity." We see a confusion-sewing, conspiracy-spreading, fragile, racists, sexist narcissist. But then he sees a ninja: Trump Ninja. From the guy who calls white supremacists "very fine people" and tells them to stand back and stand by in case he loses the election, comes a brand-new book for your outrage and amusement. Trump Ninja vs. Fake America, sees our Colluder-in-Chief realizing that the only way to stop all of these annoying libtards, BLM, and Antifa-types from disagreeing with him, laughing at him, criticizing him, and voting him out of office, is to get rid of them all entirely. Especially those terrible, no-good losers from S.N.O.W.F.L.A.K.E., the secret conspiracy behind the conspiracies.