Witchless in Seattle

Hello. My name is Stevie Cartwright, and I've been witchless for thirty days. If only there was a support group for down-on-their-luck ex-witches who've had their powers slapped right out of them (literally). Just as I was licking my wounds after returning to my hometown of Ebenezer Falls, Washington, and navigating my suddenly non-magical existence with the help of my familiar, Belfry, things got sticky. Enter an ex-spy and newly departed spirit named Winterbottom, who's infiltrated my life with his sexy British accent and a couple of requests . . . Thanks to Belfry's successful attempt to use me as a human antenna to the afterlife, I can somehow hear Win. I should be ecstatic; helping departed souls used to be my witch specialty. It's like I got the teensiest piece of my old life back. Except Win's dropped me right at a dead woman's feet . . .

Hello again! It's me, Stevie Cartwright, ex-witch and new Madam Zoltar. I was fresh off the murder-suspect list and just settling into Madam Z's psychic medium shoes-with the help of my bat familiar Belfry and spirit spy Win-when another death rocked sleepy little Ebenezer Falls, Washington state. Tito Bustamante, my beloved purveyor of mouth-watering Mexican munchies, has been found dead in the food truck court. Rumor has it that Tito was stickin' his chimichanga where it didn't belong, and my gut-not to mention his less-than-natural death-says murder. No one is above suspicion. Not Tito's own wife and daughter, not his arch food truck enemy Jacob, and certainly not the son Tito didn't know about, newly arrived in Ebenezer Falls and getting cozy with my hired help. Do join me (and try not to point and laugh) as I juggle catching a killer, snooping for clues about Win's previous life, gabbing with and eavesdropping on the locals, and enduring a visit from my very unwelcome, very annoyingly gorgeous ex-coven leader-all while continuing to adjust to my new witchless existence.

I, ex-witch Stevie Cartwright, do hereby solemnly swear to avoid future murder-mystery shenanigans, nosiness, tomfoolery, and any further crazy killer-inflicted pain to my person, so help me goddess. Ha! Like I could help myself? But after busting my butt (literally!) on the last murder case in my beloved hometown of Ebenezer Falls, Washington, I could use a nice long break. I was determined to take the time to enjoy the company of my bat familiar, Belfry; my British ex-spy ghost, Win; our adorable St. Bernard rescue, Whiskey; and of course our gorgeous home, Mayhem Manor, freshly and lovingly renovated. Until shazam-a dead man invites himself to our fancy housewarming party! When my mother's husband number five ends up deep-sixed in my parlor, it's not like I can't not try to solve this mystery, right? But our work is definitely cut out for us this time. With Belfry's rascally bat family visiting and the two hundred or so guests, acrobats, mimes, cooks, catering staff, orchestra members-and a surprise guest who throws me for a loop in the house-suspects sure aren't a problem.

Just when you think you know your one-time International Man of Mystery turned ghostly confidant...When last we met, dear friends, a man had come calling, claiming to be Crispin Alistair Winterbottom, my dead British ex-spy. A notion I'd find ludicrous, if the handsome imposter didn't, in fact, look exactly like my dead British ex-spy. But there's no time for that mystery when a quiet walk on our private stretch of beach turns up something far more pressing-another tragedy in my beloved small Washington town. That's right. I, Stevie Cartwright, ex-witch turned amateur sleuth, have stumbled upon another murder. But this time it's closer to home, more personal, a victim who'd touched the hearts of so many in Ebenezer Falls, young and old. In fact, there's only thing more surprising than the victim...The good man who's become the number one suspect. Along with my Spy Guy Win, my bat familiar Belfry, our rescue dog Whiskey, and even an unexpected new friend or two, I'm jumping back into my Sherlock shoes to catch the cleverest killer yet!

It's Christmas, and I, ex-witch, Stevie Cartwright declare this my favorite time of year. I love the decorations! The food! The Hallmark Channel holiday specials! This year promises to be better than ever because for the first time in a very long time, I'm going to have more than just Cheez Whiz, Triscuits, and the wish to be surrounded by family and friends. My carefully planned holiday bonanza includes all the usual suspects. My bat familiar Belfry, my dog Whiskey, my ever-present ghostly spy friends-dashing Brit Winterbottom, stalwart Russian Arkady, and my parents. However, nothing comes easy for this amateur sleuth, not even a neighborhood decorating contest. You know the one I've been painstakingly prepping for months? Something goes horribly awry with my Christmas display (think bikini-clad carolers, pink flamingos and real, live turkeys) to start. But the worst? The dead body of the famous Chef Pascal Le June in my nativity scene! It becomes clear someone's trying to ruin my Christmas, and that someone must pay. But when Belfry goes missing, and the danger takes on a paranormal edge, I find I have more to lose than ever before. . .

My name is Crispin Alistair Winterbottom, and I'm a British Spy . . . Or I was until my untimely, dare I say, suspicious demise. Now, I'm a ghost, living my afterlife on what I fondly call Plane Limbo. But I'm determined to return to the land of the living and while I try and figure out exactly how to do that, I spend my days with the ever delightful ex-witch, Stevie Cartwright, the only person in the world who can hear me, and her charming bat familiar, Belfry. We've seen some dark days, Stevie and I. Including, an unexpected family member attempting to steal all my worldly goods, a vengeful warlock, and plenty of murder. Yet, through it all, we've become great friends and adopted several new friends (alive and dead) along the way. So when a surprise shows up on our doorstep and claims to belong to me, our safe, happy world is bloody well turned upside down and threatens, to date, the most important relationship in my life!

What happens when an ex-witch/medium, an ex-nun, a demon, and a dead British spy meet? Murder! After a really busy summer, things have settled down for my crew here in Ebenezer Falls. That is, until my favorite Spy-Guy, Win, has a crazy recollection of the night he was murdered. His memory leads us to the new tattoo artist in town who just happens to be an ex-nun named Trixie Lavender. Sister Trixie has a gifted tattoo artist for a sidekick who just happens to be a demon straight from the bowels of Hell . . . A demon who, coincidentally, is accused of murder, that is. You know what that means-Stevie and the gang to the rescue!

It's me again, Stevie Cartwright. Powerless ex-witch, pseudo medium, and amateur sleuth, reporting to you live from the case of the missing ex-British spy turned ghost/quite possibly one of the most important people to ever become a part of my life. You read that right. As Win and I and all the gang were busy planning our big Thanksgiving bash, he suddenly disappeared (right in the middle of telling me what a Philistine I am for even suggesting Cheez Whiz and crackers), and it's as if he never existed. Poof-he's just gone! No one can find him, not even Arkady, our ghostly pal and confidant on Plane Limbo. If I ever needed to make good use of everything my British spy ever taught me about sleuthing, it's right now. But I run into roadblock after roadblock until I'm almost sure all hope is lost, and I'll never hear his voice again. Worse, how will I ever live with myself if I never get the chance to tell him how I feel?

When last we met, good people, the biggest wish I've ever made came to fruition. It didn't happen without some help-okay, a lot of help. Either way, let's just say the deed was done. My outrageously handsome, smart, sometimes persnickety (read mostly persnickety) Spy Guy, Winterbottom, is finally here on earth with me, recuperating from his afterlife jaunt. And I couldn't be happier . . . Sure, he can be a difficult patient. He's forever bellowing my name from his sick bed. He likes his socks ironed and his toast cut in triangles, thank you very much. Add in the fact that some of the spells I've cast to make this dream a reality have had repercussions (an understatement), and it's been sheer chaos. But all tomfoolery aside, Win's here with us, and I'm thrilled, as you can imagine. Mostly. So when it's decided amongst my favorite men I should take a day for myself and hit Seattle for some much-needed shopping, I hesitantly head out. And then I die. As you can imagine, it only goes downhill from there . . .

Stevie here, and I'm happy to report we've settled into our new lives and found a modicum of peace since our last death-defying incident. Mostly… My International Man of Mystery continues to lay low here in Ebenezer Falls until we can sort out his earthbound credentials, but we have a routine and as the holiday season begins, we're ready to do a little celebrating. In the midst of us adjusting to life together, a surprise visitor shows up, knocking us both for a loop, but for two entirely different reasons. To make matters worse, my good buddy, Officer Rigid…er, Dana Nelson, has some questions and we're positive they have to do with Win's involvement in what's turned out to be a high-profile case in Seattle. That means we need to get the heck out of Dodge and we need to do it fast to buy ourselves some time to figure out our next move. While we wrap our heads around our newest predicament in Maine in a beautiful little town that celebrates Christmas three hundred and sixty-five days a year called Marshmallow Hollow, we run into bigger trouble than we left when someone tries to kill Win not once, but twice. And that's when Win's past comes back to haunt him, putting us all in danger.

Now that Win is up and about, he's been a very busy bee. He's jumped in with both feet, getting involved in our community and living his best life now that he's unencumbered by his spy past. He even joined the Ebenezer Falls garden club and made all the female member's toes curl with his British charm. On a flower scouting trip for the garden club's annual spring planting in the town square, while Win is ogling lavender bushes and pansies, I fall head first into a pile of soil where a body's buried. Not just any body either. It's the body of the husband of a close acquaintance of mine-a close acquaintance who just happens to own the nursery and the pile of dirt I fall into head first. When he begs me to investigate, there's no way I'm going to turn him down, but there are obstacles to overcome. For instance, the love of my life. My International Man of Mystery, who keeps stepping on my investigative toes. It's proving to be an adjustment solving a mystery with us working in the same space. Add in Dana, who's gone 'round the bend, my sudden and unexplained investigative (not to mention ridiculous) possessiveness and everything's all topsy-turvy. Contains mature themes.

Stevie here, reporting to you live from Ebenezer Falls, Washington, with my disaster of a day. Yes, that's right. I'm having a terrible day. The worst. It started off like any other day with the exception of Win's strange behavior, that is. But it's all gone downhill from there and I have questions. So many questions... For instance, why is everyone else in Eb Falls behaving as strangely as my International Man of Mystery? And who the heck is Donna? For that matter, who's Candy Cane and why does she have snow? Who's the blonde picking up Win in our driveway? And was that an Aston Martin I just saw drive by? What the heck is going on? I set out to have a perfectly nice day after a long summer filled with tourists and readings at Madame Zoltar's shop. Since we'd had so little time to spend together these last few weeks, I was feeling a little left behind while Win was off on a guy's day of his own, but a much-needed spa-day should have cured that. Or at least I thought it would. That was before everything turned upside down, Win became almost unreachable by phone or text, and the words blackmail, drugs, and extortion were bandied about... Contains mature themes.

Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married! No, silly. Not us. Team #Stewin is still enjoying being engaged and a nice long winter hiatus from murder and ghost chasing. Until we open up Madam Zoltar's for the beginning of tourist season and the first customers are a bridal party from the seventh level of you-know-where! When the soon-to-be ex-husband of the matron of honor is found dead at the motel where the bridal party is staying and she's accused of his murder-a murder we're convinced she didn't commit-our quiet comes to a screeching halt. Add in the matron of honor's dead twin, who appears to be desperately trying to get some kind of message to us, Belfry, who's behaving strangely, and more poofy pink dresses than you can count, and you've got yourself a mystery. A mystery we're determined to solve! The gang's all here. Join us for another romp in Witchless in Seattle, won't you?

This time I'm the case that needs solving. Almost all of the criminals dead or alive that we've captured, or we've had a hand in doling out their fate, have been stalking me via the ghost of my very first case. Sal Finch. Win's vengeful cousin, angry and bitter when he lost all of Win's inheritance to me and tried to kill me, has somehow figured out how to read people on this plane and get them to do his bidding. How do I, mostly a mere mortal, fight off someone from the afterlife still holding a big, fat grudge? I call my sister Halliday Valentine to help me fight off the forces of evil, of course! A full-time witch who has visions, and part-time sleuth just like me. But the afterlife sure has drastically changed since I lost my powers, and everyone around me becomes suspect as Sal whispers suggestively in the ears of criminals who would like nothing better than to see me kaput. When my sister has a vision of me, a mere dead husk of a body, my soul evaporated for eternity, we know we have to take action with the mother of all spells. But with the afterlife in such an uproar, and the delicate timing of the spell, will we get this monkey off my back, or leave the world turned upside down?

It's a nice day for a white wedding... if I can make it down the aisle unscathed and still breathing, that is! 'Tis I, newly restored witch and armchair sleuth Stevie Cartwright, and I'm finally about to marry Win, my soul mate/ex-spy turned groom-zilla. We've gone to hell and back (and a few planes of existence) for our happily ever after, and nothing's going to get in the way of our union... except possibly a murder while auditioning musical options for the reception. The blessed event is just days away, but Win and I can't resist a good mystery, so in between last-minute wedding decisions, the early arrival of my high-maintenance parents, my klutzy mishaps, and an ill-timed visit from the ghost of my long-forgotten ex-fiance, we're tracking a killer in Ebenezer Falls' latest whodunit. Time to multitask like a champ and get me to the church... er, backyard... on time. Piece of cake, right?