Why Mummy

Why Mummy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation, Peter and Jane. Boy Child Peter, Girl Child Jane and Daddy have exciting adventures with Mummy. Daddy likes gadgets. Peter and Jane like starting fires, trying to kill each other and driving Mummy to drink. Written from the point of view of an exhausted mummy at the end of the day, it's honest, it's funny, and it's a little bit sweary. It is Mummy's 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel at a future of people asking if she wants to come to their yoga class, and book clubs, where everyone is wearing statement scarves and they are all 'tiddly' after a glass of Pinot Grigio. But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who 'live for their children', boasting about Boy Child and Girl Child's achievements. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering FML over and over, and then remembers the gem of an idea she's had…

Mummy has always loved Christmas. Sure, the kids turn into demons, the dinner gets burnt to a crisp and Aunt Louisa's general staggering inappropriateness sends Mummy reaching for the nearest maximum-strength festive tipple, but nevertheless, for her, Christmas is always special. This year, she wants nothing more than to perfectly fig up the pudding and sit by the fire reading aloud from A Christmas Carol to a rapt, rosy-cheeked audience. But, just like all Mummy's best-laid plans, this year's Festive Vision is in danger of being totally derailed by her chaotic family. There's not much chance of any action under the mistletoe, and the kids are just not playing ball. Can Mummy find her silver lining after all and bring the whole family together for one moment of harmony, so they can finally proclaim 'Verily You Are the Queen of Christmas'? Or should she get stuck into the festive spirits and just let it all go?

Mummy Ellen is on a well-earned sabbatical from work, and she has A Vision. She is going to cherish *every* moment this holiday with her Precious Moppets Peter and Jane, alongside her ride-or-die best friend, Hannah. There will be wicker baskets! Vintage bicycles! Pink sunshine wine! And not an electronic babysitter in sight. But as she strives for her picture-perfect "Ultimate Family Summer" in the sun-kissed bliss of her almost-chateau, reality crashes the party. With small feral hell-beasts to keep alive on the daily, and Hannah suddenly and mysteriously MIA, wine o'clock gets earlier and earlier as each day crawls by. Can she keep The Vision alive without resorting to nightly beige 'freezer tapas' (aka guilt-flavoured chicken nuggets)? Or will she reach the end of her Gentle Parenting book her tether as her dream holiday descends into a nightmare?