We Are Legion

Greetings, bald monkey! What's with you? Surprised to see an alien? Ha! Believe me, you're better off with me than the Swarm that Swallows Systems. It'll be here in ten years or so, and then you'll all be done for. Just so you know. What's that? You want to live? Then you best join the Legion! The Legion's your chance to earn money! And money's your ticket to survival. Oh, and don't breathe a word about the Legion to anyone. Nobody would believe you anyway.

What's that, bald monkey? Think everything's dandy because you've got a few missions under your belt and made a bit of a name for yourself on that backward planet of yours? Ha! Think again! I bet you'll be singing a different tune after you've been offered a personal assignment. You'll be a superstar rolling in credits if you succeed, but if you mess it up, you could lose everything. I'm talking "Legionnaire-career-over" kind of everything. Oh, don't give me that face-look on the bright side! You've got the best agent in the galaxy at your service, after all! There's nothing you can't do with me! Just make sure you don't stop killing bugs, otherwise hundreds of my little ones will start getting very hungry indeed . . .

Hey there, Caesar! I have to hand it to you-you're more than just a bald monkey now. You're a Legionnaire! Think you can do whatever you like just cause you got yourself a medal? Well, you're right! An achievement like that's gonna open so many doors for you! My very first Legionnaire's an intergalactic superstar in the making . . . I'm so happy I could squeal! But we can't let even a second go to waste-we've got a mission right here on planet . . . Wait. What do you mean you're taking a vacation?!