Snark
ebook
(1)
The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition
Gridlock, Red Tape, and Other Insults to We the People
by Lawrence Dorfman
Part of the Snark series
Another political year is upon us . . . a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum.
In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You'll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!
ebook
(2)
The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition
Comebacks, Taunts, and Effronteries
by Lawrence Dorfman
Part of the Snark series
The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it's more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes:
"You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately."
"You started at the bottom, and it's been downhill ever since."
"His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity."
"Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others."
"You fill a much-needed gap."
Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book's verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you're never again without the perfect quip or comeback.
ebook
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Snark! The Herald Angels Sing
Sarcasm, Bitterness and the Holiday Season
by Lawrence Dorfman
Part of the Snark series
Bah! Humbug! It's that time of year again…
Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find "good cheer," battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year's; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess.
ebook
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The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition
Innuendo, Irony, and Ill-Advised Insults on Intimacy
by Lawrence Dorfman
Part of the Snark series
According to NewYorker.com, "Lawrence Dorfman assembled a heroic collection. I spent an hour in a state of catharsis, reveling in the sufficiency of the insults," in his previous homage to snarkdom (Insult Edition). Now just imagine the reviewer's state after an hour reading the Sex Edition. Here are sharply witty personal observations, jokes, quotations, he-said-she-said snarks, and much more. A taste of what's to come:
• "I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now."-George Carlin
• "We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation."-Lily Tomlin
• "Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same."-Oscar Wilde
• A couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. His fingers started at her neck, moved down her shoulders, past the side of her breast and so forth. Then he suddenly stopped, rolled over, and became silent. She said, "Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?" "I found the remote," he mumbled.
With the same Snark Handbook style, this latest entry in the series will titillate, amuse, and entertain.
ebook
(0)
Snark Handbook
Sarcasm, Bitterness and the Holiday Season
by Lawrence Dorfman
Part of the Snark series
Bah! Humbug! It's that time of year again... Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find "good cheer," battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as... dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year's; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as:
• "Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. "-Victor Borge
• "If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it... No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs." -Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah
• "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." -Phyllis Diller
Snark, the Herald Angels Sing is destined to be a holiday classic.
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