Personal Psychology Book

Often people see the upbringing as the imposition of their tastes, requirements, tasks, plans, and dreams, like, 'I bring him up the way he must grow, I know what he should be aware, what he should do.' If someone sees the upbringing in this way, my attitude to this is negative, and I would choose another word: help in child's development, formation, nurturing. Carl Rogers said that 'an adult on a child could be compared to a gardener helping a plant. The gardener's job is to supply water, provide the facility with the sunlight, fertilize the soil. That is, to create conditions for development but not to pull the top.' If you pull the top in a direction that you chose, you won't grow anything. Dialogue is a bit narrowed concept, I'd better say, mutual understanding, the mood for understanding the child. Yes, it is important when the child knows his parent, but the parent can find out more about his child. And what does it mean to understand the child? First and foremost, it ways to know his needs and to take them into account. The person's needs vary not only with age but individually, depending on the trajectory along which the child moves. Therefore, it is important to hear the child in a dialogue, to understand why he doesn't listen to you, what are the reasons for his refusals and rudeness. If your discussion includes 'to hear,' I accept it. I reject any rough interpretations of the word 'upbringing' like if a child doesn't listen, force him; if he talks rudely, corrects him; if he is offended, tell him, 'there is nothing to be offended here, you are to blame for what has happened."

Each of us, among other things, has been taking a poll among friends and acquaintances, aiming to hear an answer to the question, 'What do you plan? What do you want in your life?' Typically, the answers received were equivocal. As a result, you took this information into consideration, when you analyzed a certain aspect of the life. Undoubtedly, I had such life moments as well, but always — in childhood, during my University years — they were accompanied with inner disobedience and aspiration to prove everyone. And, in the first turn, myself, that it's possible to achieve what I long for, even if the dream seems to be unrealizable at first. Can we deem the dream as an analogy to fantasy? We can, but is it really so? This has been my personal opinion for a long time, but as they say, I had a lucid moment, as a result, understanding what is the difference. A difference is that the fantasy differs from the dreams with an aspiration. If the aspiration in the first case starts with 'I would like to, but...', the aspiration for the dreams is determined by readiness to do something. The dream is rather the sense in life. Undoubtedly, each thought is based on certain decisions, opinions etc. The sense of life consists of a chain of Goals, which make us live, move forward and do something meaningful in our life. As we know, the Goals are material and non-material, and, therefore, each person has his or her own priorities concerning the first and the second ones. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Learn... - How to 'Reflash'? - Skewed Towards the Thoughts Thinking More Than Acting - How to Learn to Love Yourself? - Why Does a Person Need Dream? - Program Yourself for Happy Life - Much, much more!

The most critical stages of development of a human cover the period starting from birth until three years. The quality of our future life depends on the way these phases are passed. If a mother was enough to warm and sensitive, able to surround her child with care and attention, supporting his independence while he was growing older, the child gradually gets acquainted with himself, receiving and deepening the notion of his self, learns to use his resources, identifies and accepts his limitations. This is a perfect scenario. The life of Such people is free and easy. They take other people's opinion into account, don't lose the ability to hear it but, at the same time, never depend on it. The value of relations with other for them is in saving both their own and another person's individuality. In such relations, there is a possibility to give and to take, to agree and to reject, to live the whole range of emotions, just without the touch of real shame, guilt, and fear. Life under different scenario differs significantly, and the critical issue here is not the drama and despair. Such people have to spend more effort, energy and time to live the quality life. A child is very sensitive to approval, and he wants to get unconditional love and acceptance. If parents didn't provide him with such essential things — to be loved as he is — the child unconsciously forms such an image, for which he will be loved and praised.