Name in Lights

SHANE MILLER SLEEP DIARY: Went to bed at: Late. How long it took to fall asleep: Forever. I have insomnia. Duh. Number of caffeinated beverages you had consumed: Zero. Thanks for advising me to quit! My stress level is off the charts. I can't sleep right on a normal day, and lately my days are filled with the best kind of chaos. My ex-wife and husband number two are filming in Poland for three months, so I'm turning down movie parts to focus on the most important role of my life- impossibly charming and somewhat capable young single dad. My son won't stop asking questions. My daughter won't brush her teeth unless I sing her showtunes. Our regular nanny quit. The only person I could trust to hire as a temp nanny is my best friend's sister. If Mary Poppins and Bill Murray had a baby it would be Willa. Fresh out of grad school and beautifully weird. She hates my movies, and my kids adore her. I couldn't sleep last night because she wasn't here. Turns out I can't sleep unless she's in my house now. Turns out she's what's been missing from my life all along. If my friend had any idea what I want to do to his gorgeous troublemaker of a sister, he would smother me with a pillow. The chances of us succeeding as a couple are about as good as that little indie movie that I made being a huge hit. But it's a chance I'm going to take.

NICO: She serves me coffee late at night when I come around to write lyrics, but it's not the caffeine I've gotten addicted to. We've got the spark, but she's the only woman in town who seems to be immune to my charms. When it's time for me to leave for my cross-country tour, I just can't imagine not seeing her for months. So I offer her a job on the road with me. KAT: Everyone in LA knows that Nico Todd has a way with songs and with the ladies. What he doesn't know is that I would love to let him have his way with me. But my life can only revolve around one infuriatingly cute guy-the six-year-old that I live with. Imagine my surprise when Nico finds out about my little boy and tells me to bring him and my mom on the road too. And imagine Nico's surprise when he realizes my son is the biggest charmer of them all.

TO: Alex Vega FROM: Emilia Stiles SUBJECT: Hello Dear Mr. Vega, I felt it necessary to follow up on today's meeting, since we weren't able to speak candidly in front of your son. I was shocked to discover that you are Ryder's dad. Given that your ex-wife will be out of the country for a while and you are currently his primary caregiver, I'm sure you understand why we need to establish boundaries and etiquette. I think it would be best if we just pretend that we met in person for the first time today. Your son is a very bright (flirtatious and talkative) student and since his education is a top priority for both of us, I hope I can count on you to respectfully refrain from grinning at me, using that sexy tone of voice, and undressing me with your annoyingly beautiful brown eyes if we should happen to interact with each other again in the future. Thanks so much, Miss Stiles TO: Emilia Stiles FROM: Alex Vega SUBJECT: Re: Well, hello again... Dear Miss Stiles, Great to hear from you. My son's education is indeed a top priority. As such, I respectfully agree to refrain from doing all of the aforementioned things. However, I can't promise to stop thinking about that kiss at the bar this summer. I've been thinking about it for the past month. It's interesting how humorless and uptight you are about my son's totally awesome personality, given that I have personally witnessed just how flirtatious and talkative you yourself can be when mildly intoxicated. You're so welcome, Alex P.S. I volunteered to be a chaperone for your next field trip. See you then.

TO: Cleo Jones FROM: Elijah Abrams SUBJECT: Happy Holidays WTF I woke up with a mild hangover and an alarm notification that said, "Check attachment in email Cleo sent to herself from my phone, Dummy." Your video proof of me offering you a temporary assistant job over the holidays seems legit. The payment amount I agreed to was outrageous. However, I have a deadline to meet. Having already fired seven temps this week, I am inclined to give this a shot, assuming you are willing to start today. Please don't wear that saucy elf costume, speak in rhyme, or act all festive. P.S. I apologize for the confusion caused by my son's good intentions. He knew nothing of our former acquaintance and film school rivalry. But thanks for playing along. TO: Elijah Abrams FROM: Cleo Jones SUBJECT: And a very merry good morning to you, sir! To your non-festive requests, I must say nay! You can pay me in cash, starting today. I'll help you produce movie magic, while spreading Christmas cheer, Despite your mockery of my theatrical career. I'll bring my balloons and my kazoo. I hope your son can join us too! So flattered you found my elf costume saucy! See you at the office, Bossy...