Misfits of Carnt

Making bills and earnin' like a baller with l33tskillz4va's crypto fast cash is not what happens in this book! But there are killer trees and bloody arena battles. What more could you want? Except sex. That happens too. It also resolves plot points like certain characters stuck in a painting and what's Petra's mom doin' at that volcano, yo! I mean, I guess there's stuff like personal character growth and human connection and all that warm, squishy stuff. But did I mention sex that happens in this book, and magic, swords, battle axes, battles, and plenty of limbs being chopped off? Oh yeah, it's all in the third Misfits of Carnt!

Orcs invading Portland, a warg in the janitor's closet, black ooze dissolving the gym teacher: a typical day for the students of Beaverton High and their fearless teaching assistant. Petra thought working for her old high school was the worst thing that could happen to her-until a magical disease infected her son. Meanwhile, the Barbarians Breakfast Club faces creatures invading their high school and murdering their classmates and principal. Okay, so maybe the latter isn't that bad. The phenomena intensify, and soon, it is not just the high school that's infested with murderous creatures. So, our hapless heroes must seek aid from old allies and enemies. Find out if Portland can survive in the second Misfits of Carnt novel.

Necromantic rituals, murderous ogres, battle-scarred rangers: not a typical Saturday detention for unsuspecting teaching assistant Petra and her delinquent teen charges. The Beaverton High School Breakfast Club show up for what they thought would be cleaning the locker room with a toothbrush when the morning goes horribly wrong, and they fall victim to a deadly, dark spell. Some jerkwad moon mage shoves the consciousness of Petra's three-year-old into the body of a musclebound barbarian, and she is transformed into a halfling. The kids get stuck as a cleric, fire mage, and other stalwarts of your typical fantasy gaming party. Now they must quest through a land of pissed-off warriors, angry giants, a pompous vampire, and a necromancer out to kill Petra and her child. Despite being in a world where everything threatens to shuffle off her mortal coil, the hardest part is convincing a hulked-out man that the battle axe is not a toy, the undead are not cuddly, and he should use the potty.