Losers Club

There's a murderer on the loose on a storm swept island cut off from the Scottish mainland. It's down to Losers Club, a quirky weight loss group led by the intrepid Penny Moon, to catch the culprit. When Old Archie the postman is shot and ends up in Mrs Hubbard's ice cream freezer, the whole island is aghast. Especially Mr Hubbard, who objects strongly to having to move all the ice lollies into the other freezer. Newly divorced and desperate to make a life for herself and her teenage children, Penny Moon arrives on Vik just in the nick of time, before the island is cut off by a storm. Her weight loss business doesn't have the best of starts, when a series of blunders leads to it being called Losers Club. However, it does have the best of people - a decent, disparate bunch who decide that, with the police unlikely to arrive any time soon and a murderer on the loose, it is down to Losers Club to investigate. As they dig deeper into the mystery, they uncover a dark secret, kept by the older islanders for almost half a century. A secret that has come back to haunt them and threatens their very existence.

Oh dearie me, the remote Scottish island of Vik is overrun with treasure hunters, Hollywood has arrived to film the next big blockbuster and Mrs Hubbard has accidentally poisoned Police Scotland. What a stramash! When Colin the curator is found bludgeoned to death in the museum, it's down to the island weight-loss group, Losers Club, to investigate. Following in the footsteps of Colin, the Losers Club friends find themselves hunting a lost Jacobite treasure and unravelling an international conspiracy. Who are the mysterious secret keepers, who killed Colin and what terrible, terrible thing has Gordon done?

Tensions are rising in the run up to the island event of the year - the Vik Show. Not only has the secret recipe for Mrs Hay's peppermint slices been stolen, but someone has had the bad manners to leave a dead body in the distillery. And what does any of this have to do with the disappearance of Elsie the librarian? A perfect storm of past secrets and political conspiracy is brewing, and it's up to the local weight-loss group, Losers Club, to save the day.

Slàinte! A Christmas Eve party at snow-covered Vik castle, where the Christmas Star diamond is on display. Good food, dancing and a visit from Santa. What could possibly go wrong? When Santa appears down the chimney, looking far more crispy than expected, it is clear that something has gone very wrong. With the castle cut off from help, a murderer in their midst and the Christmas Star stolen, it's up to Losers Club to investigate. As they follow the network of secret passages to learn more about their fellow guests, they realise that everyone has a motive. Including one of their own.

Vik Island weight-loss group, Losers Club, is on the mainland for the Police Scotland Bravery Awards and, even better, they're staying in a posh hotel. With housekeeping trollies full of free stuff just lying about the place, waiting for the unwary pilferer, Mrs Hubbard's only regret is that she didn't bring a bigger handbag. Diet sheets have been abandoned and Gordon's dungarees are straining at the seams, so what could be nicer than a gentle stroll up Bennachie to offset all those breakfast sausages? Anything. Anything could be nicer because this is no gentle stroll. When the Losers stumble upon the body of a young woman on the hillside, they quickly become entangled in a web of deceit surrounding local road protestors. The very police officers awarding them for bravery seem determined to write off the death as a drug overdose, and it is up to Losers Club to convince them otherwise. Soon, the hunt is on for an elusive whistleblower, and the Losers find themselves pitted against the establishment. As the conspiracy deepens and the bodies start piling up, they realise that they can trust no one

Fit a sotter! The Major Investigations Team is on the island and Sergeant Wilson is a woman on a mission. She must solve the murder of the lighthouse keeper before the MIT eat all the good police biscuits. The DCI might have ordered her to do door-to-door enquiries, but she was la-la-la-not-listening at the time. Convinced that the answer lies in Beacon Brodie's mysterious past, she has instead conscripted the best of the Losers Club minions to discover the truth. In the meantime, Gordon and Jim (the Z team) are relegated to discovering the identity of the Vik Vigilante, a shadowy figure exacting revenge on the citizens of Vik. Why did a celebrity appear naked behind an ornamental magnolia in the garden centre? Who forced a journalist to eat his own words? And…gasp…could the vigilante be the killer? As the Losers Club friends uncover a midden of lies and deceit, they realise that something far more sinister is at play, and sometimes the truth is best left buried.

It's almost Christmas and, in a ballroom just beyond the cobbled streets of Edinburgh's Old Town, the most important event of the year is taking place – the Foxtrot Oscars. Mrs Hubbard's whole senior citizenship has been building towards the moment she and her Douglas take the Over Sixties Swingers Cup. What could possibly go wrong, dearies? When the Losers Club friends arrive to cheer the couple on, they expect a weekend of shopping, dancing and binge-watching all the TV programmes they can't get back home. Instead, they find Mrs Hubbard missing and blood on the dancefloor. With the city gridlocked and the police unable to reach them, it is up to Losers Club to investigate. Why would someone snatch the village shopkeeper? And what does it have to do with the contents of Mrs Hubbard's third biggest handbag? Helped by friends old and new, the Losers follow the trail through Edinburgh's darkest places to solve a Jacobite mystery locked in time.

The islanders are up to the high doh. Scotland's popular reality game show, Game of Trust, is being filmed at Vik Castle and two of their own are taking part. Will the "Saviours" team help them survive, or will the "Murderers" team eliminate them first? When Sergeant Wilson receives intelligence that the international art thief, Shoogledy Jack, has infiltrated the game in order to steal Laird Hamish's valuable painting, she commandeers Losers Club to help her unmask the villain. Sending some of their number in undercover seems like an excellent idea…until a contestant is eliminated in the most gruesome fashion, leaving behind a trail of conflicting stories and half-truths. With the remaining contestants locked in the castle and unable to communicate with the outside world, loyalties become strained as the Losers battle to solve the murder, find the thief and stop PC "Easy" Piecey eating all the good chocolate biscuits. If they are all to survive the night, Saviours and Murderers must work together in this ultimate Game of Trust. This audiobook also includes the Losers Club short story, The Dubby Sword of Saint Marnoch!