Gilded Blood

When Zayn, your smoking hot boss, tells you never to touch the cache of deluxe tattoo ink locked away in his office, you listen to him…until the day you run out of your own ink, your squirming client is on the verge of peeing his pants, and your boss is nowhere to be found. Desperate times call for desperate measures, right? I fully expected Zayn to yell at me when he returned to the shop. What I didn't expect was the fresh cobra tattoo on my client's butt magically springing to life. Or the interdimensional filing cabinet hiding in the back of Zayn's office. And, oh, did I mention that my gorgeous, magic-ink-hoarding boss is actually an incubus? Now, through (mostly) no fault of my own – we have to venture into a strange and distant land where a never-ending list of lethal flora, fauna, and fae await us. When you add in my Jewish mother's string of poorly-timed, hysterical phone calls, there is one thing I'm grateful for: there's no cell service in the fae realm.

I keep telling myself things could be worse. Okay, so my mom's been harboring some hefty family secrets. Big deal. And, yeah, maybe there are still two or three teensy details about Zayn that I don't know; his backstory, his private life, or his real name, for starters. Oh, and let's not forget that there's a bloodthirsty, power-hungry, magical mob boss who's due to appear at any moment. No biggie. So long as there are no more family bombshells, incubus-related heartbreaks, or unexpected, terrifying journeys into the Fae Realm, I'll be completely fine. Because, as I've already reminded myself at least twelve times since breakfast, there's no way things could possibly get worse. …right?

A lot can change in a week. Seven days ago, I was just Talia-an art school dropout with an affinity for tattoos, a hopeless crush on my boss, and a knack for finding trouble. Now, I'm a gold-blooded, magic-harnessing, Runemaster in training. The good news is all of that has resulted in one hell of a promotion. Instead of sweeping floors, I'm sweeping swarms of venomous squatters out of castles. I've been enrolled in accelerated, hands-on rune lessons-super handy for those like me who are death-averse. Oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my incu-boss's upgraded benefits "package," which has been particularly generous. Sadly, promotions aren't just about the perks. There are increased responsibilities as well: amassing a magical army alongside the newfound fae king, repairing centuries-old divisions among the Seelies and Unseelies, and vanquishing a completely unhinged demon lord whose ego may have gotten the teensiest bit damaged when I became the first woman with a pulse to ever spurn his advances (oh, and nearly kill him too). But hey, when you're the most coveted tattoo artist in two realms, it's all in a day's work.

War is coming-and this time, I swear it's not my fault. Sol and his reanimated Unseelie army are hell-bent on destroying the Seelies once and for all. Worse, he's stolen the most priceless relic in this land-Zayn's grimoire-along with my magic-unleashing gilded blood. Oh yeah, and Sol's claim is slowly killing me (though I'm so pent-up, I might actually die of horniness first). But not all hope is lost. I somehow led the elves through the mountain, arriving at the Summer Palace in one battered, weary piece. Bonus points: I've expanded our ad hoc army by two hundred more soldiers-never mind the fact they're completely untrained, three-foot-tall tommyknockers. For better or worse, while Zayn was busy prepping the castle for battle, my loud-mouthed Jewish mother gained the "support" of our equally-shrill family members. Unfortunately, banshees have the power to predict the future, and our outlook isn't looking so good. The only way we'll survive the impending war is by finding some mysterious ally in the most inhospitable, remote corner of the Fae Realm: a ghost from Zayn's past who will either help lead the Seelies to salvation… or doom us all.