For Your Love (Reitan)

The best time to find yourself is before you hit rock bottom. My mom died when I was ten, taking my happy family life with her. Since my dad's only useful enough to drain a bottle, I've learned to live with nothing except the love and generosity of my best friends. My relationship with twins Damon and Declan has always been close. Too close, according to what society has deemed appropriate between guy friends. But that's never stopped our hugging and cuddling-in public or private. My best friends knew I didn't receive affection from home, so they never let me go without it. At twenty-two, the guilt of taking handouts from my friends catches up with me. Filled with self-loathing, I decided it was time to make a change. Determined to pay my own way, I accept a strange proposition from my former professor. Suddenly, I find myself with a sugar daddy and a whole lot of questions I'm not sure how to process. The twins have always known they were gay-just like I've known I was straight. But now, I wonder if the love and affection I've always craved was for something else entirely. This is an LGBT+ story intended for mature listeners.

The mind is a terrible place to live. Simon has more or less moved out, Damon is burying his rage, and me? I'm in misery, trapped in the dark hole of unrequited love. I don't know where to turn. Entire days disappear where I have no idea how much time has passed. Just when I think my brother and I are doomed to our collective pain, we work out a truce that could patch up our friendship with Simon. He comes home and it's as it always was, except now it's a little bit more. While we may push boundaries, we'll never cross the line into too much. Even though I wish we would. I still struggle with one thing. Simon might have found someone who will accept our unconventional-probably inappropriate-friendship, but what about me? Will I find someone who can accept that part of me, too? Or am I destined to be alone, with the only relationship I have the one in my mind, where it's my best friend and me, forever? This is an LGBT+ story for mature listeners.

The heart is a cruel master. After the fallout between me, my brother, and Simon, I find myself either wallowing in a black pit of depression or lashing out with vicious rage. Technically, Simon still lives in the condo the three of us bought together, but ever since our relationship imploded months ago, I've barely seen him. His absence is loud, and it feels like a knife through my heart. I miss dancing with him. I miss having him sandwiched between my brother and me at night. I miss the soft brush of his lips against mine, just because. I miss him. A newly single co-worker strikes a bargain. All he wants is someone to wreck his body while I get to let out my anger. It's a win-win. Except I've still lost. Once, the only future I saw was with Simon, but I don't see a future at all anymore. All I have left is a broken heart and no one to pick up the pieces. This is an LGBT+ story intended for mature listeners.