Final First

Ben and Shabnam are inspired but terrified.Stainless steel pans can help create nutritious, tasty meals and keep nasty chemicals out of your food. But they're apparently very hard to use skillfully. What are a couple aspiring adults to do about aspiring to this level of adulting? Meat and potatoes are one thing but everyone knows that eggs are the final boss of stainless steel- mess up, and you're stuck in hell trying to wash the caked-on crap!If you've ever privately tried to level up as a person and got quite worried about it you should find this story relatable.Matthew Atkinson serves up this humorous (but also deeply serious, if you think about it) SHORT STORY from his collection Final First. To make an omelette you have to break a few eggs. Here they come. FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.

Dragana Drakulić is going to shut an operation down. In the world of scummy, sleazy motels, actions have consequences- that's usually how people end up there in the first place. If you can drown out the dripping ceiling, the knocking radiator, and the squeaking of mice, you might hear a racing heart kept beating only by a thirst for revenge! Dragana is pissed at some hootin' and hollerin' scuzz enthusiasts; to her their continued casual judgment is a stain on humanity as unspeakable as some of the ones you might find on these never-washed mattresses. Matthew Atkinson brings you a grimy, sweaty, vicious SHORT STORY from his collection, Final First. "Occupied / Vacant" will check into the biggest room in your mind and not leave till everything rots. FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.

Gabe Gomez is in a kickball game from hell.The dreadful Mr. Banabieger brings in a new cool black kickball... but something's wrong with it. Gabe is not a good player but he's an emerging voice in third-grade kickball analytics.. will his intellect and capacity for paranoia be enough to figure out the black kickball?Gabe wants to win, but he also wants to live. Childhood is full of inexplicable events that are merely survived rather than explained- that will have to be enough in the hatefully dark world of the Atrous Orb.Matthew Atkinson brings you a quirky, freaky SHORT STORY from his collection Final First that like so many things kids go through, looks like it's for kids but really isn't. Step up to the plate- it's rolling right toward you whether you're ready or not. FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.

Shricky has a fun idea for a game, so he thinks. When you're out of college every time you get to hang out with your friends and play video games is special. But Shricky's come up with a different one: use the government's data on American lifespans and make a drinking game out of when he and his friends might die. They are going to die. In real life. Just like the rest of us. For now it's really good fun. But it's also kind of... dark. You know? Matthew Atkinson brings you this raucously adolescent and surprisingly deep banger of a SHORT STORY from the collection Final First, a thought experiment gone terribly wrong- but maybe that just means it served its purpose. FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.

Lola doesn't know what the hell just happened. A paramedic struggling because that's a job with struggling with, Lola shows up at an apartment building where the hallway is covered in blood. It's a bad day for her- a lot of the city's resources are going elsewhere, and she's got to bear this burden herself. She wants to quit on this day till an apartment door opens and... it's the woman who loves the man who responsible for most of the bloodbath! Sometimes when crazy stuff happens you just need a smoke, a drink and the chance to talk it out. Especially when you're not exactly sure what the crazy thing was that happened, and you may never be. Matthew Atkinson brings you a mysterious but actually probably heartwarming "aftermath story" from his collection FINAL FIRST- and you know what? If anyone likes this one, he might tell you what happened in the first place. Be first on the scene; the stakes are high! FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.

Gabe Gomez pleaded with his parents that summer camp was a bad idea.Now instead of another week of playing video games with his friends, he's stuck putting on goofy skits. And then in the middle of the night, all the boys wake up, cursed to beat the crap out of each other. Neither of those were on the brochure!It doesn't take long for cabin fever to set in. The boys' bathhouse used to be sacred- taking a leak was the only moment of peace you could get at a place like this, but not anymore.Matthew Atkinson will leave you wanting s'more kids bashing each other senseless- emphasis on senseless- with this SHORT STORY from his collection, Final First. "Fifteen Minutes Later" is the sort of endurance test that stokes a boy's wildness and builds his character. FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.

FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless!FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose").FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later").FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb"), the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the high-estrogen "The Q-Word")Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.For clarity, this collection includes these stories:"Shard""Spread""Glue for the Goose""Eggs in Stainless Steel""Occupied / Vacant""Atrous Orb"Hypnopomp""Actuarial Life Table""The Q-Word""Fifteen Minutes Later" FINAL FIRST, the debut short story collection from Matthew Atkinson, will take you across several different genres where you'll laugh, shudder, get shot, play some super high-stakes children's games, and get beaten senseless! FINAL FIRST offers slow-burning dramas either horror-adjacent (where cosmic mystery meets family drama in "Shard") or not (lighthearted adulting non-epic "Eggs in Stainless Steel") or WTF (the spiritual whiplash of "Glue for the Goose"). FINAL FIRST will stab you over and over with the emotional pain of growing up (the bitter epistolary grief of "Spread"; the game in "Actuarial Life Table" that gets too real) or the physical pain (the senseless and patently adolescent mayhem of "Fifteen Minutes Later"). FINAL FIRST will unnerve you with realism (the sleazy hotel hostage situation of "Occupied / Vacant"), definite un-realism (the bad dream and beyond of "Hypnopomp"), an uncertain amount of realism (the world-changing kickball game of "Atrous Orb", the aftermath of a horrible event that might come up in a later collection (the Bechdel test-acing "The Q-Word") Although a number of these stories prominently feature children... warning: not for kids! Arguably not for adults! Just like life itself. There's no kiss or kill like the first... let this collection be your FINAL FIRST.