Dover Books on Antiques and Collecting

"Politeness is goodness of heart put into daily practice," declares the author of this 1860 guide to good manners, adding, "there can be no true politeness without kindness." Florence Hartley's world of calling cards and horse-drawn carriages may seem remote, but her advice is ageless. Friendliness, courtesy, and regard for other people's feelings remain the basis of etiquette for gentlemen as well as ladies. After all, it's just as rude today to neglect guests or finish someone else's sentences as it was in the nineteenth century. This vintage manual abounds in tips for proper behavior in every situation, from hosting dinner parties ("See that no guest is left in silence from the want of attention") and taking public transportation ("Make room for others if you see that the opposite side is full") to choosing clothes ("Do not be too submissive to the dictates of fashion"). Historical context adds a flavorful charm to advice on conducting morning calls and engaging in proper ballroom etiquette. Between its fascinating glimpses of a bygone era and its enduringly sound, common-sense suggestions, this book offers a uniquely instructive guide for navigating life with grace and confidence.

What should you do if you find a bug on your plate? How do you ask someone to dance? What's the least offensive way to enjoy your cigar? These and other questions of social decorum are answered in this classic etiquette book. Published just before the Civil War, this volume offers enduring advice for courtesy-challenged men. Common-sense suggestions for socializing, exercise, flirting, dining, and dressing reveal that the basics of proper behavior haven't changed all that much ― and in situations where they have, today's gentlemen may find something worth learning from their predecessors. Suggestions for the best way to behave, as well as how not to behave, include conduct in the street ("Avoid striking your umbrella against those which pass you"); making calls ("No man in the United States, excepting His Excellency, the President, can expect to receive calls unless he returns them"); and dating ("Any lover-like airs or attitudes, although you may have the right to assume them, are in excessively bad taste in public"). These and other etiquette tips provide intriguing glimpses of nineteenth-century society in addition to a wealth of timeless counsel on behaving with sincerity, dignity, and kindness in our own day and age.