Discworld

Time is a resource that has to be managed. On Discworld, the Monks of History store time and pump it from the places where it's wasted - like underwater (how much time does a codfish need?) to places that need it - like cities, where there's never enough of time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time, for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd. Because it will stop time. And that will only be the start of everyone's problems. Thief of Time comes complete with a full supporting cast of heroes and villains, yetis, martial artists and Ronnie, the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse (who left before they became famous).

One rat, popping up here and there, squeaking loudly, and taking a bath in the cream, could be a plague all by himself. After a few days of this, it was amazing how glad people were to see the kid with his magical rat pipe. And they were amazing when the rats followed hint out of town. They'd have been really amazed if they'd ever found out that the rats and the piper met up with a cat somewhere outside of town and solemnly counted out the money. The Amazing Maurice runs the perfect Pied Piper scam. This streetwise alley cat knows the value of cold, hard cash and can talk his way into and out of anything. But when Maurice and his cohorts decide to con the town of Bad Blinitz, it will take more than fast talking to survive the danger that awaits. For this is a town where food is scarce and rats are hated, where cellars are lined with deadly traps, and where a terrifying evil lurks beneath the hunger-stricken streets.... Set in Terry Pratchett's widely popular Discworld, this masterfully crafted, gripping read is both compelling and funny. When one of the world's most acclaimed fantasy writers turns a classic fairy tale on its head, no one will ever look at the Pied Piper-or rats-the same way again!

The Amazing Maurice runs the perfect Pied Piper scam. This streetwise alley cat knows the value of cold, hard cash and can talk his way into and out of anything. But when Maurice and his cohorts decide to con the town of Bad Blinitz, it will take more than fast talking to survive the danger that awaits. For this is a town where food is scarce and rats are hated, where cellars are lined with deadly traps, and where a terrifying evil lurks beneath the hunger-stricken streets... Set in bestselling author Sir Terry Pratchett's beloved “Discworld”, this masterfully crafted, gripping read is both compelling and funny. When one of the world's most acclaimed fantasy writers turns a classic fairy tale on its head, no one will ever look at the Pied Piper, or rats, the same way again! This book's feline hero was first mentioned in the “Discworld” novel “Reaper Man” and stars in the movie version of his adventure, “The Amazing Maurice”, featuring David Tenant, Emma Clarke, Hamish Patel, and Hugh Laurie. Fans of Maurice will relish the adventures of Tiffany Aching, starting with “The Wee Free Men” and “A Hat Full of Sky”!

War has come to Discworld…again. And, to no one's great surprise, the conflict centers around the small, insufferably arrogant, strictly fundamentalist duchy of Borogravia, which has long prided itself on its ability to beat up on its neighbors. This time, however, it's Borogravia that's getting its long-overdue comeuppance, which has left the country severely drained of young men. Ever since her brother Paul marched off to battle a year ago, Polly Perks has been running The Duchess, her family's inn -- even though the revered national deity, Nuggan, has decreed that female ownership of a business is an Abomination. To keep The Duchess in the family, Polly must find her missing sibling. So she cuts off her hair, dons masculine garb, and sets out to join him in this man's army. Polly is afraid that someone will see through her disguise; a fear that proves groundless when the legendary Sergeant Jackrum accepts her without question. Or perhaps the sergeant is too desperate to discriminate -- which would explain why a vampire, a troll, a zombie, a religious fanatic, and two uncommonly close "friends" are also eagerly welcomed into the fighting fold. Soon, Polly finds herself wondering about the myriad peculiarities of her new brothers-in-arms. It would appear that Polly "Ozzer" Perks is not the only grunt with a secret.

The 31st entry in Sir Terry Pratchett's internationally bestselling “Discworld” series about the art of war and the brave women who wage it. This new recording is narrated by Katherine Parkinson (The IT Crowd), Bill Nighy (Love Actually; Pirates of the Caribbean) and Peter Serafinowicz (Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace). War has come to Discworld. The homes and businesses throughout the duchy of Borogravia limp along, doing the best they can without their men, sent to fight their age-old enemy. Polly has taken over the lion's share of responsibility for the running of her family's humble inn, The Duchess. Her beloved brother Paul marched off to war almost a year ago, but it has been more than two months since his last letter home, and the news from the front is bad: the fighting has reached the border, supplies are dwindling, and the brave Borogravians are losing precious ground. So, the resourceful Polly cuts off her hair and joins the army as a young man named Oliver. As Polly closely guards her secret, she notices that her fellow recruits seem to be guarding secrets of their own. A novel that explores the inanity of war, the ins and outs of sexual politics, and why often the best man for the job is a woman, Monstrous Regiment is vintage Pratchett in top form. “The Discworld” novels can be read in any order, but “Monstrous Regiment” is a standalone.

Arch-swindler Moist von Lipwig never believed his crimes were hanging offenses -- until he found himself with a noose around his neck, dropping through a trap door, and falling into ... a government job? Getting the moribund Postal Service up and running again, however, may be an impossible task. Worse, the new Postmaster could swear the mail is talking to him. Worst of all, it means taking on the gargantuan, money-hungry Grand Trunk clacks communication monopoly and its bloodthirsty piratical head, Mr. Reacher Gilt. But it says on the building NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLO M OF NI T ... Inspiring words (admittedly, some of the bronze letters have been stolen), and for once in his wretched life Moist is going to fight. And if the bold and impossible are what's called for, he'll do it -- to move the mail, continue breathing, get the girl, and deliver that invaluable commodity that everyone requires: hope. Performed by Stephen Briggs.

The 33rd installment in acclaimed New York Times bestselling author Sir Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, a splendid send-up of government, the postal system, and everything that lies in between. This new recording is narrated by Richard Coyle (Moist von Lipwig in the television adaptation of Going Postal), Bill Nighy (Love Actually) reads the footnotes, and Peter Serafinowicz (Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace). Suddenly, condemned arch-swindler Moist von Lipwig found himself with a noose around his neck and dropping through a trapdoor into... a government job? By all rights, Moist should be meeting his maker rather than being offered a position as Postmaster by Lord Vetinari, supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork. Getting the moribund Postal Service up and running again, however, may prove an impossible task, what with literally mountains of decades-old undelivered mail clogging every nook and cranny of the broken-down post office. Worse still, Moist could swear the mail is talking to him. Worst of all, it means taking on the gargantuan, greedy Grand Trunk clacks communication monopoly and its bloodthirsty piratical headman. But if the bold and undoable are what's called for, Moist's the man for the job—to move the mail, continue breathing, get the girl, and specially deliver that invaluable commodity that every being, human or otherwise requires: hope.

Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch will be damned if he lets anyone disturb his city's always tentative peace -- and that includes a rabble-rousing dwarf from the sticks who's been stirring up trouble on the eve of the anniversary of one of Discworld's most infamous historical events. Centuries earlier, in a hellhole called Koom Valley, trolls met dwarfs in bloody combat. Though nobody's quite sure why they fought or who actually won, each species still bears the cultural scars and views the other with simmering animosity. Lately, an influential dwarf, Grag Hamcrusher, has been fomenting unrest among Ankh-Morpork's more diminutive citizens. And it doesn't help matters when the pint-size provocateur is discovered beaten to death ... with a troll club lying nearby. Vimes knows the well-being of his city depends on his ability to solve the Hamcrusher homicide. But there's more than one corpse waiting for him in the vast mine network the dwarfs have been excavating beneath Ankh-Morpork's streets. A deadly puzzle is pulling Sam Vimes deep into the muck and mire of superstition, hatred, and fear -- and perhaps all the way to Koom Valley itself. Performed by Stephen Briggs.

Once, in a gods-forsaken hellhole called Koom Valley, trolls and dwarfs met in bloody combat. Centuries later, each species still views the other with simmering animosity. Lately, the influential dwarf, Grag Hamcrusher, has been fomenting unrest among Ankh-Morpork's more diminutive citizens—a volatile situation made far worse when the pint-size provocateur is discovered bashed to death... with a troll club lying conveniently nearby. Commander Sam Vimes of the City Watch is aware of the importance of solving the Hamcrusher homicide without delay. (Vimes's second most-pressing responsibility, in fact, next to always being home at six p.m. sharp to read Where's My Cow? to Sam, Jr.) But more than one corpse is waiting for Vimes in the eerie, summoning darkness of a labyrinthine mine network being secretly excavated beneath Ankh-Morpork's streets. And the deadly puzzle is pulling him deep into the muck and mire of superstition, hatred, and fear—and perhaps all the way to Koom Valley itself.

Postmaster general Moist von Lipwig, former arch-swindler and confidence man, has exceeded all expectations in running the Ankh-Morpork Post Office. So it's somewhat disconcerting when Lord Vetinari summons Moist to the palace and asks, "Tell me, Mr. Lipwig, would you like to make some real money?" Vetinari isn't talking about wages. He's referring to the Royal Mint of Ankh-Morpork that has run on the hereditary employment of the Men of the Sheds, who do make money in their spare time. Unfortunately, it costs more than a penny to make a penny, so the whole process seems somewhat counter-intuitive. But before Moist has time to fully consider Vetinari's question, fate answers it for him. Now he's not only making money, but enemies, too; he's got to spring a prisoner from jail, break into his own bank vault, stop the new manager from licking his face and, above all, find out where all the gold has gone-otherwise, his life in banking, while very exciting, is going to be really, really short . . .

The hero of Going Postal returns in the 36th installment of Sir Terry Pratchett's beloved Discworld series! Moist von Lipwig, condemned prisoner turned postal worker extraordinaire, is now in charge of a different branch of the government: overseeing the printing of Ankh-Morpork's first paper currency. Amazingly, former arch-swindler-turned-Postmaster General Moist von Lipwig has somehow managed to get the woefully inefficient Ankh-Morpork Post Office running like... well, not like a government office at all. Now the supreme despot Lord Vetinari is asking Moist if he'd like to make some real money. Vetinari wants Moist to resuscitate the venerable Royal Mint, so that perhaps it will no longer cost considerably more than a penny to make a penny. Moist doesn't want the job. However, a request from Ankh-Morpork's current ruling tyrant isn't a "request" per se, more like a "once-in-a-lifetime-offer-you-can-certainly-refuse-if-you-feel-you've-lived-quite-long-enough." So Moist will just have to learn to deal with elderly Royal Bank chairman Topsy (née Turvy) Lavish and her two loaded crossbows, a face-lapping Mint manager, and a chief clerk who's probably a vampire. But he'll soon be making lethal enemies as well as money, especially if he can't figure out where all the gold has gone.

Football (aka soccer) comes to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork, upending the wizards of Unseen University, and dividing Discworld, in this wonderfully funny novel in Sir Terry Pratchett's internationally bestselling series. The wizards at Ankh-Morpork's Unseen University are renowned for many things—wisdom, magic, teatime—but athletics, not so much. When Lord Vetinari, the city's benevolent tyrant, strongly suggests to Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully that the university revive its sports program and field a football team composed of faculty, students, and staff, or lose the funding that pays for their nine daily meals, the wizards of UU find themselves in a quandary. First, they have to understand what makes foot-the-ball so popular with Ankh-Morporkians. Then they have to learn how to play it, and win, without using magic. Of course, the thing about football is that it is never just about football.

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork-not the old-fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr. Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr. Nutt, not even Mr. Nutt, which worries him, too.) As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed forever. Because the thing about football-the important thing about football-is that it is not just about football. Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!

For nearly three decades, Terry Pratchett has enthralled millions of fans worldwide with his irreverent, wonderfully funny satires set in the fabulously imaginative Discworld, a universe remarkably similar to our own. From sports to religion, politics to education, science to capitalism, and everything in between, Pratchett has skewered sacred cows with both laughter and wisdom, and exposed our warts, foibles, and eccentricities in a unique, entertaining, and ultimately serious way. At long last, Lady Sybil has lured her husband, Sam Vimes, on a well-deserved holiday away from the crime and grime of Ankh-Morpork. But for the commander of the City Watch, a vacation in the country is anything but relaxing. The balls, the teas, the muck-not to mention all that fresh air and birdsong-are more than a bit taxing on a cynical city-born and -bred copper. Yet a policeman will find a crime anywhere if he decides to look hard enough, and it's not long before a body is discovered, and Sam-out of his jurisdiction, out of his element, and out of bacon sandwiches (thanks to his well-meaning wife)-must rely on his instincts, guile, and street smarts to see justice done. As he sets off on the chase, though, he must remember to watch where he steps. . . . This is the countryside, after all, and the streets most definitely are not paved with gold. Terry Pratchett offers a novel of crime, class, prejudice, and punishment that shows this master at his dazzling best.

New York Times Bestseller From acclaimed author Sir Terry Pratchett, comes the 39th novel in the “Discworld” series, an enthralling tale of crime, class, prejudice, and punishment. This new recording is narrated by impressionist and actor Jon Culshaw, best known for BBC Radio 4's “Dead Ringers.” At long last, Lady Sybil has lured her husband, Sam Vimes, on a well-deserved holiday away from the crime and grime of Ankh-Morpork. But for the commander of the City Watch, a vacation in the country is anything but relaxing. The balls, the teas, the muck—not to mention all that fresh air and birdsong—are more than a bit taxing on a cynical city-born and-bred copper. Yet a policeman will find a crime anywhere if he decides to look hard enough, and it's not long before a body is discovered, and Sam—out of his jurisdiction, out of his element, and out of bacon sandwiches (thanks to his well-meaning wife)—must rely on his instincts, guile, and street smarts to see justice done. As he sets off on the chase, though, he must remember to watch where he steps... This is the countryside, after all, and the streets most definitely are not paved with gold.