Dilbert: Business

The creator of Dilbert, the fastest-growing comic strip in the nation, takes a look at corporate America in all its glorious lunacy.These hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, rampant management fads, bewildering technological changes, and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition. The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage -- management. Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the work place. Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this light-hearted series of essays. Adams explores the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information super highway, and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes, and skewers, the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. The Dilbert Principle rings so true! Listeners will be convinced that he has been spying on their bosses.

Why do all modern managers do the same bizarre things? Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring? None of the above! Every manager learns from the same source: Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. This valuable management handbook teaches new managers how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered "little people" into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies. In this indispensable guide, Dogbert reveals the many vital skills needed by managers in their daily lives, including: The power of verbal instructions-sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion-enjoy all the motivational benefits with none of the costs! Pretending to care-learn to hear without listening! Company newsletter-communicate without the risk of conveying information! Competition-experience the joy of setting your people against one another! Decision making-be a leader without making any decisions! Incentives-inspire employees by giving them worthless knick-knacks! Remember: Leadership isn't something you're born with. It's something you learn by listening to Dogbert tapes. A world-class consultant and bestselling author, Dogbert has spent much of his life giving advice to gullible people with disposable incomes. His brain has many more crevices than yours, so you'd better do what he says.

Step aside, Nostradamus. Here comes the real soothsayer, and he'sturning his eagle eye on everything from new work-avoiding technologyto sex with aliens. With predictions that run the gamut ona wide range of hot-buttons, Scott Adams' absurdist, outrageously funnynew audio, The Dilbert Future, may be his greatest achievement yet.In his inimitable style, Adams predicts we'll learn to harness the mostabundant resource in the universe: stupidity.As always, Adams' keen wit is dead-on. Prediction: The Dilbert Future will be the most anticipated and well-received businessbook of the year. (It doesn't take a psychic to figure that out.)Check out Scott Adams' other Dilbert books, TheDilbert Principle and Dogbert'sTop Secret Management Handbook.When he's not cartooning or writing bestsellers, Scott Adamsspends his time speaking at corporate functions and conferences.

"I cried because I did not have an office with a door, until I met a man who had no cubicle." - Dilbert "After your boss has taken away your door, your walls, and your storage areas, there aren't many options left for the next revolution in office design. One of the following things is likely to go next: the floor; the ceiling; your happiness. I think the floor will stay, but only because your company would have to dig a huge hole all the way to the other side of the earth to get rid of it. As you can imagine, a huge hole through the earth would represent a serious threat to office productivity." From The Joy of Work by Scott Adams Read by Scott Adams.