Dear Dumb Diary
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(28)
Let's Pretend This Never Happened
by Jim Benton
Part 1 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (& sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom's nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You'll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out! Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(17)
My Pants Are Haunted
by Jim Benton
Part 2 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.They were just a soft, ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans until Jamie Kelly tried them on . . . Then they became a tight, scratchy, slightly smelly, and utterly ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans with an embarrassing haunting problem. Do the pants have the power to soothe a vengeful beagle, vanquish The Prettiest Girl in the World, or make the wearer irresistible to the eighth cutest guy in the grade? Are the haunted pants so dazzling they can hurt and maybe permanently damage the eyes of onlookers? Or are the haunted pants just, well, haunted (which is kind of gross when you think about it)? Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(15)
Am I the Princess or the Frog?
Am I The Princess Or The Frog?
by Jim Benton
Part 3 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(13)
Never Do Anything, Ever
by Jim Benton
Part 4 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her? Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(10)
Can Adults Become Human?
by Jim Benton
Part 5 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true... or at least as true as it needs to be.
Dear Dumb Diary, My social studies teacher, Mr. Van Doy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right?
Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But, Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.
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(9)
The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From
by Jim Benton
Part 6 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Everyone's favorite Mackerel Middle-Schooler, Jamie Kelly, is back with another hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice) diary!There's a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School.Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It's enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can't help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world? Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(12)
Never Underestimate Your Dumbness
by Jim Benton
Part 7 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella is probably right. She almost always is.When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.)But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . . Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(11)
It's Not My Fault I Know Everything
by Jim Benton
Part 8 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary!Dear Dumb Diary,I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that."What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(11)
That's What Friends Aren't For
by Jim Benton
Part 9 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(7)
The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free
by Jim Benton
Part 10 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.School's out for the summer, and that means no more Meat Loaf Thursdays, Sunday homework-cramming, or teachers (way way unsuccessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that certain Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands . . . and seriously empty pockets. Isabella is going to change all that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help --- whether they like it or not. It's the best kind of teamwork: When a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing it wrong one at a time. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(4)
Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers
by Jim Benton
Part 11 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly has been keeping diaries for years . . . and each one just gets funnier! But she has no idea that anyone is reading them. So please, please, please don't tell her.Something strange is happening at Mackerel Middle School. Even stranger than Jamie and Isabella becoming friends with Angeline. (Which is still really, really strange.) Jamie can suddenly and inexplicably understand the weirdest and most mysterious creatures around: Boys.And there's only one logical explanation --- superpowers. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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(6)
Me! (Just Like You, Only Better)
by Jim Benton
Part 12 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
There are more than 5 million Dear Dumb Diary books in print!Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It's true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline's flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she's lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline's failure to not be perfect. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
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