Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Part 1 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (& sometimes mean) diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be. In this book, Jamie contends with Angeline, the school's prettiest, most popular girl (who Jamie thinks is a goon!) and the impending visit of her troll-like little cousin. Will Jamie survive? Will she go mad? Will she send her mom's nasty casserole to starving children in Wheretheheckistan? You'll just have to read the first installment of Dear Dumb Diary to find out! Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
My Pants Are Haunted
Part 2 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.They were just a soft, ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans until Jamie Kelly tried them on . . . Then they became a tight, scratchy, slightly smelly, and utterly ordinary pair of thrift-shop jeans with an embarrassing haunting problem. Do the pants have the power to soothe a vengeful beagle, vanquish The Prettiest Girl in the World, or make the wearer irresistible to the eighth cutest guy in the grade? Are the haunted pants so dazzling they can hurt and maybe permanently damage the eyes of onlookers? Or are the haunted pants just, well, haunted (which is kind of gross when you think about it)? Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Am I the Princess or the Frog?
Am I The Princess Or The Frog?
Part 3 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Jamie is crushing on Hudson. Someone too-gross-to-be- named is crushing on Jamie. And Hudson is crushing on . . . Princess Turd of Turdsylvania (a.k.a. The Prettiest Girl in the World). Middle school may be grim, but it's no fairy tale. And crazy doesn't even begin to cover it. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Never Do Anything, Ever
Part 4 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true...or at least as true as it needs to be.Her best friend's a backstabber. Her worst enemy is a sweetheart. And her dog is just waiting for the right moment to seek his revenge. Why should Jamie even bother going to school? Why not? After a run-in with Mega-Popular Angeline, aka Pure Evil, Jamie reforms her selfish ways & becomes the decent human being she never thought she could be. But she quickly realizes that helping others kind of stinks. Is someone trying to thwart her attempts at irresistible inner beauty? Or will Jamie finally achieve the "I'm an angel" glow she knows will make Hudson Rivers fall madly in love w/ her? Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Can Adults Become Human?
Part 5 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Read the hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice), diaries of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything in her diary is true... or at least as true as it needs to be.
Dear Dumb Diary, My social studies teacher, Mr. Van Doy, never smiles. I know that's hard to believe, because everybody smiles about something, right?
Isabella smiles when her brothers get in trouble. Angeline smiles when she thinks about how much prettier she is than, like, a waterfall or a unicorn. I smile when I think about a unicorn kicking Angeline over a waterfall. But, Mr. VanDoy doesn't smile at all. I wonder if when you become an adult, you can lose your sense of humor the way you lose your teeth or hair or fashion sense.
The Problem With Here Is That It's Where I'm From
Part 6 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Everyone's favorite Mackerel Middle-Schooler, Jamie Kelly, is back with another hilarious, candid (and sometimes not-so-nice) diary!There's a new girl in at Mackerel Middle School.Colette is friendly, fabulous, smart, totally talented, and an all-around amazing individual. She is more brilliantly diabolical than Isabella, as blindly loyal as Stinker, and even harder-to-resist than Angeline. It's enough to make Jamie throw up a little. And Jamie just can't help but wonder: Is it humanly possible for a girl to be more perfectly perfect than the most perfect girl in the world? Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Never Underestimate Your Dumbness
Part 7 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Sneak a peek inside the NY Times bestselling diary of Jamie Kelly, who promises that everything she writes is true -- or at least as true as it needs to be.Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella is probably right. She almost always is.When I think back on all the things I've seen Angeline do, the one thing they have in common is that they're all dumb. (They're all strawberry-scented, too, but I think that's just her conditioner -- although her body might actually secrete its own strawberry scent.)But of all the dumb things she's ever done, this has got to be the dumbest. . . . Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
It's Not My Fault I Know Everything
Part 8 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
New York Times Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with another hilarious, candid, and sometimes not-so-nice diary!Dear Dumb Diary,I went back and read some of my very oldest diaries. The entries say things like "I eated salad dressing" and "I got a Barbie shoe stuck in Stinker's nose again" and "The vet was mean to me about the Barbie shoe so I tried to bite him but vets are quick at not getting bit because dogs try all the time but dogs don't usually kick so I did that."What amazed me was just how dumb I used to be, considering how smart I am now. There must have been a day when I just woke up smart. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
That's What Friends Aren't For
Part 9 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary,So now I'm friends with Angeline. This is automatic friendship, and I have to just accept it and make the best of things. See, if I objected, then Aunt Carol might divorce Angeline's uncle, sending both of them tumbling into a deep pit of depression for the rest of their lives, and Angeline could wind up feeling so guilty that she would have to go be locked up in an old dirty insane asylum for years and years, and Stinker's puppies could grow up not knowing both their parents --- and I couldn't live with myself for doing something like that to a puppy. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free
Part 10 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.School's out for the summer, and that means no more Meat Loaf Thursdays, Sunday homework-cramming, or teachers (way way unsuccessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that certain Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands . . . and seriously empty pockets. Isabella is going to change all that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help --- whether they like it or not. It's the best kind of teamwork: When a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing it wrong one at a time. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers
Part 11 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jamie Kelly has been keeping diaries for years . . . and each one just gets funnier! But she has no idea that anyone is reading them. So please, please, please don't tell her.Something strange is happening at Mackerel Middle School. Even stranger than Jamie and Isabella becoming friends with Angeline. (Which is still really, really strange.) Jamie can suddenly and inexplicably understand the weirdest and most mysterious creatures around: Boys.And there's only one logical explanation --- superpowers. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Me! (Just Like You, Only Better)
Part 12 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
There are more than 5 million Dear Dumb Diary books in print!Bestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.Dear Dumb Diary, I went five whole days without seeing or hearing from Angeline. I was beginning to get used to it. It's true that I have learned to overlook many of Angeline's flaws, like her flawlessness, but she can still be difficult to be around. Like when she's lit perfectly, for example. To my extreme credit, I have learned to pretend to ignore Angeline's failure to not be perfect. Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
School. Hasn't This Gone on Long Enough?
Part 13 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series!
Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, with a brand-new spin on a favorite series!Dear Dumb Diary is a hilarious hit! Now after 12 books (each covering a month of her life), Jamie Kelly's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny -- but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber!As Jamie grapples with school, grades, and middle school's Big Questions, don't miss even more of her words of wisdom like, "If someone is really, really intelligent, it would be polite if they would ugly it up a bit before they left the house."(Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.) Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
The Super-Nice Are Super-Annoying
Part 14 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Do NOT read Jamie Kelly's top-secret diaries!
"Sometimes it amazes me how ingenious I am about everything." --Jamie KellyWe've been with Jamie Kelly through her search for inner beauty, poofy bridesmaid dresses, and desperate attempts to make money during summer vacation. Along the way, she's left us with countless gems of wisdom, such as: "If somebody ever asks you to kick her in the face, the first thing she will do is forget that she asked you to do it," and "As long as you keep laughing at how dumb something is, you can secretly enjoy it without risking your cool."Now Jamie's upcoming diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. It's Dear Dumb Diary: Year Two! The diary entries are still laugh-out-loud funny -- but this is a whole new beginning. Everything is another year dumber!(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.) Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.
Nobody's Perfect. I'm As Close As It Gets.
Part 15 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Whatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries!
The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.) Praise for Dear Dumb Diary"Benton is a genius at expressing a believable preteen girl worldview without silly vernacular or dumbing down to his audience." -KidsReads.com"Benton has a gift for writing Jamie's voice exactly like the girl you'd want sitting next to you in class, whispering terrible comments." -Kids Books Central Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com. Praise for Dear Dumb Diary
"Benton is a genius at expressing a believable preteen girl worldview without silly vernacular or dumbing down to his audience." -KidsReads.com
"Benton has a gift for writing Jamie's voice exactly like the girl you'd want sitting next to you in class, whispering terrible comments." -Kids Books Central
What I Don't Know Might Hurt Me
Part 16 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, continuing a new spin on a favorite series!
Dear Dumb Diary, Just when I was pretty sure we could let the Student Awareness Committee quietly die a dignified death like some majestic old elephant or the Square Dancing Club, Angeline has to be aware of something. Great.And, of course, it couldn't be something interesting like nail polish or why maybe there should be a special class in nail polish and how to get it out of your beagle's ear. (Mom, if you're reading this, I'm not admitting anything. Somebody else could have painted a heart in his ear.)Angeline just had to be aware of one of those THINGS THAT ADULTS LIKE. Praise for DEAR DUMB DIARY:"Benton is a genius at expressing a believable preteen girl worldview without silly vernacular or dumbing down to his audience." --KidsReads.com"Benton has a gift for writing Jamie's voice exactly like the girl you'd want sitting next to you in class, whispering terrible comments." --Kids Books Central Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com. Praise for DEAR DUMB DIARY:"Benton is a genius at expressing a believable preteen girl worldview without silly vernacular or dumbing down to his audience." --KidsReads.com"Benton has a gift for writing Jamie's voice exactly like the girl you'd want sitting next to you in class, whispering terrible comments." --Kids Books Central
You Can Bet on That
Part 17 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
The hilarious and bestselling series from Jim Benton continues!
Jamie, Isabella, and Angeline have known each other for a long time. They've even become friends -- whether Jamie likes it or not. But when the trio starts a friendly competition, all bets are off. The loser will be treated to a game of Dare or Worse Dare... with Isabella. (And Jamie's pretty sure that's like having a banana-peeling contest with a starving monkey. The monkey always wins.) What could go wrong? Probably everything. And it's probably all that blondwad Angeline's fault. Probably. Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.) Praise for Dear Dumb Diary:"Benton has a gift for writing Jamie's voice exactly like the girl you'd want sitting next to you in class, whispering terrible comments." -Kids Book Central"Benton is a genius at expressing a believable preteen girl worldview without silly vernacular or dumbing down to his audience." -Kidsreads.com Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com. Dear Dumb Diary,Isabella and I had one of those days where you spend four hours trying to come up with something to do, and then by the time you do, there's no time to do it so you just watch TV in positions that make it look like maybe you were born without bones. We do this about twelve times a month. "Since we're not doing anything, we should practice debate," I said."No, we shouldn't," Isabella said. "We just did," I said. Praise for Dear Dumb Diary:
"Benton has a gift for writing Jamie's voice exactly like the girl you'd want sitting next to you in class, whispering terrible comments." -Kids Book Central
"Benton is a genius at expressing a believable preteen girl worldview without silly vernacular or dumbing down to his audience." -Kidsreads.com
Live Each Day to the Dumbest
Part 18 of the Dear Dumb Diary series
The hilarious and bestselling series from Jim Benton continues!
It's not easy being a middle-schooler, and nobody knows that better than Jamie Kelly. There are surprises around every corner: some good, some bad, all dumb. But when Jamie inherits a trunk of her grandmother's things, she never expects to find the biggest surprise of all -- Grandma's diary. Violating the privacy of a diary is something Jamie would never do . . . unless she was absolutely certain that she wanted to do it. And when she does, she learns that, deep down, everyone is exactly the same. Dumb. Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.) Jim Benton is an award-winning author and artist. You may know some of the other things he's made, like It's Happy Bunny, Dear Dumb Diary, Franny K. Stein, Victor Shmud, and more. He's created a TV series, written books, and produced a movie, and he always did everything his parents told him to do. Pretty much. Jim lives in Michigan with his wife and kids and can be found online at jimbenton.com.