"To like yourself, you must know yourself. I didn't even know who I was. I was a poseable doll waiting for directions: What do you need from me? Who do you need me to be in this moment? I have experienced a lifetime of societal messaging telling me that I am nothing.
And then, I am shamed or questioned for believing I am nothing."
Standing on the TEDx stage, Danielle Shontae Smith shared aloud, for the first time, her story of self-erasure. In 19 minutes, she told of the internalized oppression and shame that had made her wonder, "Why do I feel guilty for existing?" Eight years later, finding herself living a life of her design - but not of her desire - she wants a new story.
In A Map You Cannot Refold, Smith unearths the revelatory experiences and messaging that led to her erasure so she can learn to write herself back into creation. Navigating uncharted territory, Smith must strive to understand what she feels rather than what she thinks, commune with her body rather than warring with it, and trust herself instead of seeking external validation. She turns inward to seek the wisdom within herself, but first she must reunite with her past: the 9-year-old on the spelling bee stage, the 19-year-old collapsed on a bathroom floor, the 25-year-old asthmatic in a race, and many other selves beyond and in between.
A multi-genre memoir of stories told through vignettes, letters, poetry, and even academic records, A Map You Cannot Refold is a celebration of liberating stories that had once been contained in silence - regardless of how we need to unleash them.
