This candid memoir looks back, from the perspective of a woman's sixtieth year, on a life woven through hospitalizations, mental illness, eating disorders, abuse and rape. It recounts and exposes a tremulous life of hiding and fear, always questioning her sanity, her place in this world. It tells of a life unraveled, hidden, disoriented and cruel. It threads through a quilt of chaos and the inability to well cope. It speaks of pain held deep within and not allowed to be expressed or known by others, or even herself, and the wrenching changes needed to navigate through to the years past sixty. It is a book, in the end, about courage, understanding and acceptance. "I have lived on the edge, not insane, not incapable, not lost, even as I struggle with everyday interactions. I have lived a life of hiding, and I cannot say that has ended, rather I can say that at age sixty I understand the need to be the adult who can traverse these waters, and I understand that ripples do not mean a tsunami with its inherent catastrophic outcome, but rather gentler swells allowing expansion into the unknown and an exposure to other people, no matter how I may fear them or worry over their judgment."
