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You've never seen a custody battle like this. After her posh Napa Valley friends expel her for committing an unspeakable betrayal, trustfundian underachiever Tabitha Eggs retreats to the redwood forests of Del Norte County, California to drink herself to death. But when she stumbles over two decomposing corpses near her new home—among a growing list of other frightening, unexplainable experiences—she's convinced that walking into a raging wildfire is preferable to whatever waits in the woods. Her plans are foiled when she's kept alive by a curious Sasquatch (who adores salad dressing and is overjoyed by luxury body wash), and they create a bizarre and everlasting union.