Living as a people-pleaser, or "be-gooder," made Heather Seeger's life small as it filled with helping others. If you needed something, she had it and was already on her way to bring it to you with a smile on her face. She was constantly busy volunteering, taking on additional work projects, or helping friends-not out of generosity, but a fear of feeling guilt and shame if she said no.
Underneath her happy-to-help facade, Heather knew something was wrong. She felt bound to what others thought of her, keeping her struggles quiet while jumping to help others through theirs. While Heather hoped this would boost her self-image, it only seemed to push people away. Was this the life of a follower of Jesus-complete self-abandonment and fizzled friendships? Jesus never seemed this exhausted.
Through her natural love for scripture, Heather began studying the Israelites. As she read, she asked God to reveal what she needed to work on in her own life and began to see how the repetitive cycles of the Israelites mirrored her own unbroken habits. Like the Israelites, Heather saw how she had been rejecting what would be good for her because of her pride and a legalistic lens of her faith.
She unearthed the heart of her people-pleasing struggle: she did not believe she was important enough to be put first when she needed to, and her pride kept her from revealing her shortcomings to others. She had put her image before taking care of herself and deepening her relationships genuinely.
By continuing her studies, Heather realized the cycles of idolatry and pride that trapped the Israelites were also reflected in her life of people-pleasing. She knew she needed authentic relationships with herself, others, and God. Heather's perspective needed to shift from pleasing others to doing good for God's glory. As she grew, Heather learned to advocate for herself and learned it was okay to disappoint others, as unnatural as it felt. Above all, she grasped that God was pleased with her before she did anything. This shift in beliefs energized her to do the good she felt God placed in front of her-but without placing her identity in it.
Heather does not have it all figured out, but longs to help other Christian women escape people pleasing, finding their identity in who they uniquely are in Christ. In People, Please! Leaving the Crowd's Approval for the Glory of One, Heather invites readers into a journey of creating emotional boundaries, finding safe people, and discerning what is their work to do. Readers will be challenged to redefine what brings them life and learn to have confidence in their choices-what they say yes to, and just as importantly, no.
