Near Miss America

"Who celebrates being first runner-up?" you might ask. I did. So much so that I even ended the book with a rap song about it-Southern, beauty queen rap, that is.

Runner-up Rap

I'm not Miss America

But I'm still pumped

'Cause I love being

The first runner-up



It's a lifetime job

Being Miss America

But we runners-up

Can hang up our tiaras



And no one remembers

Who came in second

So I don't have to fret

When the media beckons



Former Miss Americas

Gotta look swell

But first runners-up

Can just be ourselves