I knew I liked to write when I was a teenager, locking myself in my room. I was angry, frustrated and needed a positive outlet. I was tired of breaking things. I was sad having to pick up pieces of my little treasures. So, I picked up a pencil to write about how I felt and why I was being self-destructive. I was determined to find a way to diffuse the confusion in my head. Taught very early to pray, I'd put my prayers on paper. Seeing something written brought me back into reality. I had a reference point. Something I could read over and over to remind myself who I was and that I would be okay.
This is my story of survival. My journey from the traumatic experience of being molested countless times by my stepfather while living within the strict religious practices of Jehovah's Witnesses to my healing process with Parents United. I thought my life of confusion, mistrust and low self-esteem could never change. As I got older, I attracted more dysfunction in my choices. I didn't know I could change that. I didn't know any better. I became afraid for my children. I thought I was crazy and didn't have good parenting skills. After years of therapy, I learned to have control over my life and how to take the power back that I kept giving away. I am no longer a victim. It has been a long and twisty road. Today, I am proud to be happy, healthy and productive in my world. I am proud to be a survivor! I hope to inspire others and give them hope that the craziness in their heads can go away. I want to keep talking about this until the cycle is broken and all children are safe.
