About
the whirlpool, and then $oat.
For a long time, when I tried to hide Ricky's illness, I didn't
know that I was "fighting a hopeless war against the
whirlpool. Until I gave in, until I realized that it was impossible
to hide, that people weren't asking me questions, not
because they hadn't noticed the change in her, but because I
avoided talking about it. They didn't want to embarrass me.
It was no longer possible to dismiss her strange behaviour
and vague answers. It was clear that something was wrong.
Love changed just as Ricky changed and as I changed, but
contrary to what one might think, it was charged with
powers I had never known before. Out of the agony and
hopeless struggle with the disease, grew a love mixed with
compassion and frustration and longing for Ricky that was
fading from me. The love of someone who holds on to his
beloved with all his might so that she would not fall into the
underworld.
For a long time, when I tried to hide Ricky's illness, I didn't
know that I was "fighting a hopeless war against the
whirlpool. Until I gave in, until I realized that it was impossible
to hide, that people weren't asking me questions, not
because they hadn't noticed the change in her, but because I
avoided talking about it. They didn't want to embarrass me.
It was no longer possible to dismiss her strange behaviour
and vague answers. It was clear that something was wrong.
Love changed just as Ricky changed and as I changed, but
contrary to what one might think, it was charged with
powers I had never known before. Out of the agony and
hopeless struggle with the disease, grew a love mixed with
compassion and frustration and longing for Ricky that was
fading from me. The love of someone who holds on to his
beloved with all his might so that she would not fall into the
underworld.