Make instant, meaningful connections.
For interviewing, selling, managing, pitching an idea, applying to college-or looking for a soulmate-the secret of success is based on connecting with other people. And you can do it in 90 seconds or less through Nicholas Boothman's program of establishing face-to-face communication.
A master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Boothman teaches us the concept of synchrony-how to synchronize our attitudes, body language, and voice tone in a way that instantly and imperceptibly makes us irresistibly likable to another person. He explains the different between open and closed body language. The power of communicating with what he calls a Really Useful Attitude. How to be an active listener. And how to identify and read the three most important sensory preferences.
Step by step, it shows how to make the very best of any relationship's most critical moment-those first 90 seconds.
Nicholas Boothman, author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, learned how to establish instant rapport with strangers while working as a fashion and advertising photographer. A licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, he is a consultant to individuals, groups, and corporations who want to learn the communication skills needed to connect with others. He lives outside of Toronto.
Chapter 2: First Impressions
For the purposes of this book, there are three parts to connecting with other people: meeting, rapport and communicating. These three parts happen quickly and tend to overlap and blend into each other. Our goal is to make them as natural, fluid and easy as possible, and above all to make them enjoyable and rewarding.
Obviously, you begin the connecting process by meeting people. Sometimes you meet someone by chance-the woman on the train who turns out to share your passion for Bogart movies. And sometimes it's by choice-the man your cousin introduced you to because he loves Shakespeare, fine wines and bungee jumping, just like you.
If meeting is the physical coming together of two or more people, then communicating is what we do from the moment we are fully aware of another's presence. And between these two events-meeting and communicating-lies the 90-second land of rapport that links them together.
The Meeting
If you make the right impression during the the first three or four seconds of a new meeting, you create an awareness that you are sincere, safe and trustworthy and the opportunity to go further and create rapport will present itself.
The Greeting
We call the first few seconds of contact the "greeting." Greetings are broken into five parts: Open-Eye-Beam-Hi-Lean. These five actions comprise a welcoming program to carry out when meeting anyone for the first time.
Open. The first part of the greeting is to open your attitude and your body. For this to work successfully, you must have already decided on a positive attitude that's right for you. This is the time to really feel and be aware of it.
Check to see that your body language is open. If you have the right attitude, this open body language will take care of itself. Keep your heart aimed directly at the person you're meeting. Don't cover your heart with your hands or arms and, when possible, unbutton your jacket or coat.
Eye. The second part of the greeting involves your eyes. Be first with eye contact. Look this new person directly in the eye. Let your eyes reflect your positive attitude. To state the obvious: eye contact is real contact!
Beam. This part is closely related to eye contact. Beam! Be the first to smile. Let your smile reflect your attitude.
Now you've gained another person's attention, through your open body language, your eye contact and your beaming smile. What that person is picking up subconsciously is not some grinning, gawking fool (though you may briefly fear you look like one!) but someone who i
