There is something about suffering for a long time that short bouts of pain cannot achieve. You simply get worn down. You begin to lose confidence in yourself to problem solve. Your ability to shoot from the hip keeps failing. Your friends have run out of advice, the faded instruction manual is dog-eared and you feel forever stuck on hold. Keeping me blindfolded and trusting God for every step would eventually force me to hang on tight and lean in to hear him whisper.
That bridge, the transition from the life I knew to the one I am living now, was just plain tough. Nothing but the long weariness of the journey would rid me of my self-sufficiency and allow him to take the reins. Your sorrow either leads you away from God because you have your own sense of justice, or it drives you to him because he is a good God who has a wonderful plan for you and who can be trusted.
