With humour and heart, comedian and host Steve Patterson explores the trials and tribulations of being a parent today, while also reflecting on his own childhood and how his parents "prepared" him for being a father.
It all started the day Scarlett Sharon Patterson came into the world and Steve Patterson became a father at the age of forty-three (yes, he knows he's a procrastinator). It hadn't all seemed real until the moment he heard his daughter's first cries. There they all were: Scarlett screaming at the indecency of being plucked from the primordial hot tub she had no intention of getting out of (she was two weeks late, which is about the same amount of time it still takes her to get ready for a routine outing), Patterson sitting gape-mouthed and astonished at the miracle he'd played a very small part in making happen, and Nancy, his wife, bawling with joy and no doubt relief for the end of the excruciating pain. A pain, Patterson understands, akin to a man wrapping his bottom lip around the top of his stupid head.
Now, after more than two decades of travelling the world making people laugh and seven years at the helm of The Debaters on CBC Radio, suddenly it wasn't about him anymore. Which, granted, should also have been the case as soon as he was married, but that's not the same as being responsible for another human's very existence. These were the thoughts on his mind as Scarlett was passed from the arms of hospital attendants into Nancy's and then finally into his.
"Daddy?" she said.
Well, not exactly. Scarlett couldn't speak English the second she was born. She's smart, but she's not that smart. But Patterson could tell she knew exactly who he was. She looked right into his soul, and he could hear her speak even if no one else could: "Daddy?" she said. "You better not screw this up."
Over the next several years, Patterson would learn just how much he didn't know. From how to get free stuff for your child, to the many ways that toddlers resemble politicians, parenting is a constant adventure. And although it's the toughest job there is, it can also be hilarious.
