Lady Gaga farts with gusto,
as do Oprah and Mo'Nique,
while Dr. Dre and Yo-Yo Ma
much prefer the one-cheek sneak.
The girl from Ipanema
now weighs one eighty-three.
Now each day when she walks to the sea,
she looks at me.
There's no sleeping pill made,
no trick of the trade,
like rum or the counting of sheep,
that can carry a man
like a breast in the hand
and a bum in the belly to sleep.
Why is it that...
Patrick Dempsey incarnates sex
with a beard of several days,
while I, unshaven just as long,
resemble Gabby Hayes?
In a men's room it's P.C.
to leave the seat up aprs pee.
And Sarah Palin, Vicks Vaporub, gay bishops, Mormons, Wikileaks, mumps, Dick Tracy, Paulie Walnuts, Sun Myung Moon, beer can openers, Jehovah's Witnesses, Chef Boyardee, pole dancing, Catholics, the Tea Party, Jesus as vintner, Italian drivers, Howdy Doody, Will Shortz, Cinderella, Jonah and Saint Patrick.
It's all inside.
And mostly all humorous.
Ed Caffrey worked in advertising for 35 years, writing about 10,000 TV and radio commercials, mostly all humorous, winning 14 Clio awards.
It was there he met his beautiful Helen, whose illustrations you'll see inside.
