Why Aging Is Absurd, Especially When You're Doing It Right
A laugh-out-loud survival guide for Gen X, Boomers, and anyone who has ever injured themselves sleeping. If your knees now sound like a bag of gravel, you need reading glasses to read the reading glasses package, or putting on socks has somehow become an event, welcome home.
You did everything right. You worked out. You stayed active. You drank water. You bought the expensive mattress. And yet, here you are waking up sore for no reason, squinting at menus in dark restaurants, arguing with technology, and choosing chairs based entirely on whether you'll be able to get back out of them.
With sharp humor and painfully accurate observations, This Shit Only Gets Worse finds the absurdity in the everyday indignities of aging. From stairs and doctor visits to memory lapses, Costco, relationships, and the mysterious noises your body now makes just for standing up, this is the book that says what everyone over 45 is already thinking.
The Fine Print of Existing
• Sleep as Damage Control: Why a "good night's rest" now means eight hours of accidental self-injury.
• The Staircase Litmus Test: Accepting that your second floor is now a high-altitude expedition reserved for the young and the foolish.
• Atmospheric Dining or Hostage Situation? Why trendy dark restaurants now feel less like a date and more like an escape room where the menu is written in invisible ink.
• Chair Physics: The tactical science of selecting furniture based solely on whether you can get back out of it without an industrial winch.
• The Great Fitness Betrayal: How to process the heartbreak of working out six days a week only to have your lower back 'Tap Out" over a sneeze.
• The Scavenger Hunt Lifestyle: Why "Where are my glasses?" is no longer a question it's a hobby.
• Digital Gaslighting: Navigating the era where your "smart" toaster has more attitude than your teenager and requires a 12-page password update.
• Errands as Endurance Sports: Why a simple trip to the store now requires a hydration pack, a supportive brace, and a three-day recovery window.
• The Symphony of Decay: An honest look at the clicks, pops, and mysterious groans now accompanying basic movements.
• The Absurdity of the "Golden Years": A survival guide to the realization that growing older is ridiculous and laughing may be the only reasonable response.
Perfect for fans of smart observational humor and readers who love laughing at the truth, This Shit Only Gets Worse is also a great Father's Day gift, birthday gift, retirement gift, or "this reminded me of you" gift for the Gen Xer, Boomer, husband, wife, dad, mom, or friend who knows exactly what it means when nothing happened... and now their neck hurts.
