About
Dear Lawyer,
As your paralegal (and ex), I have to be honest: Youre a horrible lawyer.
Honestly, the worst Ive ever seen.
You never communicate, you pile on overtime, and youre constantly in a bad mood.
Now, about those panties on your desk. No, that wasnt a desperate cry for your attention. It was the result of a lost bet with my roommate. But if you were even half the lawyer you claim to be, youd have figured that out without all the ego-tripping.
And about that phone call you overheard, yes, I did say Im sorry I cant sleep with you again. Thats because I actually value my sanity and self-respect.
As for my weekend plans? Definitely none of your business.
Anyway, Ive been laughing at this whole situation for weeks, so let me keep it short:
I quit.
Yep, you read that right, Lawzilla, Im done.
Maybe dial down the ego or at least learn to pay your staff better.
Wishing you luck. Youll need it!
Kennedy Hayes,
Paralegal
Dearest Kennedy,
Thank you for your candid feedback.
Im flattered that my legal incompetence has made such a lasting impression. Its clear youve been holding onto this since our split ten years ago, and I cant blame you for wanting to get a few jabs in.
As for the Worst Lawyer Ever title, Ill wear it proudly.
Its a tough world out there, and if my greatest achievement is making my ex laugh, then I guess Im doing something right.
Best,
Cade Lawzilla Gladwell
P.S. Looking forward to your next review. I hope its as charming as your last. Because NOBODYs quitting.
As your paralegal (and ex), I have to be honest: Youre a horrible lawyer.
Honestly, the worst Ive ever seen.
You never communicate, you pile on overtime, and youre constantly in a bad mood.
Now, about those panties on your desk. No, that wasnt a desperate cry for your attention. It was the result of a lost bet with my roommate. But if you were even half the lawyer you claim to be, youd have figured that out without all the ego-tripping.
And about that phone call you overheard, yes, I did say Im sorry I cant sleep with you again. Thats because I actually value my sanity and self-respect.
As for my weekend plans? Definitely none of your business.
Anyway, Ive been laughing at this whole situation for weeks, so let me keep it short:
I quit.
Yep, you read that right, Lawzilla, Im done.
Maybe dial down the ego or at least learn to pay your staff better.
Wishing you luck. Youll need it!
Kennedy Hayes,
Paralegal
Dearest Kennedy,
Thank you for your candid feedback.
Im flattered that my legal incompetence has made such a lasting impression. Its clear youve been holding onto this since our split ten years ago, and I cant blame you for wanting to get a few jabs in.
As for the Worst Lawyer Ever title, Ill wear it proudly.
Its a tough world out there, and if my greatest achievement is making my ex laugh, then I guess Im doing something right.
Best,
Cade Lawzilla Gladwell
P.S. Looking forward to your next review. I hope its as charming as your last. Because NOBODYs quitting.