In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft-a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men-uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship.
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?
You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:
• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive thinking
• Myths about abusers
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can't
• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely
"This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives."-Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health Praise for Lundy Bancroft and Why Does He Do That?
"Bancroft has opened a window into the thinking of abusive men, and his book helps open a door out of abusive relationships."-Gavin de Becker, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Fear and Fear Less
"Most books about abuse in relationships focus on women-how they're hurt, why they stay. As important as these questions are, they can also distract us from the heart of the problem. Bancroft boldly asks-and brilliantly answers-the most important questions of all: Why do so many men abuse women? What can be done about it? This book is desperately needed and long overdue."-Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning video Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity
"This fascinating investigation into what makes abusive men tick is alarming but its candid handling of a difficult subject makes it a valuable resource for professionals and victims alike…Jargon-free analysis is frequently broken up by interesting first-person accounts and boxes that distill in-depth information into simple checklists. Bancroft's book promises to be a beacon of calm for many storm-tossed families."-Publishers Weekly
"Bancroft, a former codirector of Emerge, the first U.S. program for abusive men, and a 15-year veteran of work with abusive men, reminds readers that each year in this country, two to four million women are assaulted by their partners and that at least one out of three American women will be a victim of violence by a husband or boyfriend at some point in her life. His valuable resource covers early warning signs, ten abusive personality types, the abusive mentality, problems with getting help from the legal system, and the long, complex process of change…This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended."-Library Journal
Lundy Bancroft has over twenty-five years of experience in the fields of abuse, trauma, and recovery. He has published five books, including the bestseller Why Does He Do That?, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, The Batterer as Parent, and Should I Stay of Should I Go?. Lundy has worked with over 1000 abusive men in his counseling groups. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness, and has presented to 350 audiences across the U.S. and abroad.
ALSO BY
LUNDY BANCROFT
The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics
(with Dr. Jay G. Silverman)
Acknowledgments
I HAVE HAD MANY, many teachers along my path to understanding the mentality and behavior of abusive men. Before I can name names, however, I need to thank above all the hundreds of female partners and ex-partners of my clients who
