A Papal Emulsification

This is the story of a theological conflict concerning the concepts of "grace" versus "grease." The "cult of Frank," a religious movement advocating the salvific potential of viscosity, frying, and culinary lubrication is gaining many converts. The story opens with a sermon by Father Anselm Loosespring, a Frankite advocate, who promotes "holy grease" as essential for faith, spirituality, and combating Frank's opponent, the Adversarial Tobacconist, Runciman. The major opponent of the message and practices of Frank is the Vatican. Pope Blatantly III attempts to suppress the Frankite heresy through bureaucratic measures, counter-propaganda, and eventually claims papal ownership of all metaphysical grease under Canon Law 888B. His campaign is bolstered by a suggestion by scholar Monsignor Monsignorson that grace and grease share a common lexical root. The Pope also engages an assassin, Annibale Urkleson, to eliminate Frank and his apostle Glen. This diabolic plan fails when Urkleson is converted from his fell purpose by Cheryl, one of Frank's disciples. The Vatican's regulatory efforts eventually fail when a "Great Grease Schism" culminates in Rome being flooded by "holy viscosity." Opening credits
Proem
Part I - Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Part II - Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Interlude
Part III - Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Part IV - Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Interlude
Part V - Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue
Closing Credits