6Teen - Season 5

Jonesy's misadventure with cheap cologne initiates a debate as to which of the guys has the best natural man scent. A "Man-Off" competition ensues wherein Jonesy, Wyatt and Jude agree not to shower for an entire week. The girls then judge which of them smells the best, or more accurately, who reeks the least - as the guys' increasingly putrid B.O. becomes harder and harder for the girls to stomach. Meanwhile, Caitlin's giddy discovery of the mall's new Baby-maker Photo Booth – a booth that takes snapshots of couples and prints pictures of what their baby might look like – turns into a self-inflicted nightmare. No matter which guy Caitlin poses with, the booth prints out hideously butt-ugly offspring. Of course, Jude's parental fixation on the gorgeous baby photo he produced with Jen on a lark doesn't help matters.

Caitlin is sporting some fab new outfits these days - all gifts from her new guy, Les. The gang is happy for her and wonders if she has finally found 'The New One' – until they meet him. Les is bland, bland, bland – in fact, that's his name, Les Bland. Les is the exact opposite of the guys Caitlin normally dates, and the gang fears she may be 'appreciating' Les a little too much for his seemingly endless pockets and his penchant for shopping. When the gang discovers that Les is going into the hole to support Caitlin's shopping habit, Caitlin returns all of the 'gifts' Les bought her. She doesn't need a 'sugar daddy', but she could always use a new friend! Meanwhile at Burger McFlipster's, Cillian, a fast-talking executive, offers Wyatt the opportunity of a lifetime - free food and rehearsal space for the band in exchange for writing and performing a simple jingle. Wyatt signs the contract on the spot to impress his new girlfriend, Marlowe. Unfortunately, no one told him about the small print or Cillian's hair-trigger temper.

The day starts off with a lot of promise for Jen as Coach Halder surprises her with a promotion to Assistant Coach at the Penalty Box. Only things go from high to low in a hurry when Jen gets sweet talked by a hottie salesman into buying enough wrestling equipment to start her own wrestling federation! Halder threatens to fire her and pay her severance in stretchy pants if she does not sell the over-stocked merchandise by week's end. Fate intervenes as Jonesy starts fooling around in the ring (yes, she ordered a ring too, which is in the middle of the store) and becomes a mini-celebrity as 'The Stud', king of the ring, who will take on all challengers. Everyone gathers to watch the master of disaster do battle, except for Nikki. Where is she? It seems that Stone, the guy who once dumped her, is in the mall and she is determined to show him that she is SO over him - only, with Caitlin's assistance, proceeds to make a fool of herself instead.

Jen is mortified when her journal goes missing. She uses it to record all of her most private thoughts - the good, the bad and the ugly! The idea of anyone else reading it sends her into a total panic. When Jonesy lands a sweet gig at the mall's lost & found office, he discovers the missing journal. Unfortunately, Jonesy would rather read it than return it. And while the rest of the gang try their best to return the journal to Jen, they all wind up reading it together instead. It's just so compelling! Unfortunately, some of the mall denizens overhear, and soon absolutely everyone is gossiping about Jen's most humiliating moments. Shocked by the betrayal of her friends, Jen goes into hiding. It'll take a huge effort by the entire gang to earn Jen's forgiveness – if only they could stop the gossip long enough to get it.

Nikki and Jonesy have a romantic night planned at his house. Only when Nikki's tummy starts to act up and she excuses herself to use the washroom (which is directly adjacent to Jonesy's bedroom!), things go from romantic to repulsive. Nikki has violent gas, which Jonesy can clearly hear, and to make matters worse - when she is finally done, the toilet won't flush! Nikki attempts to "quietly" get help from Jen by calling her on cell, only Jen is with the rest of the gang and soon EVERYONE knows. Things only get worse when the toilet overflows – leaving behind some rather disgusting evidence of Nikki's upset stomach! Jonesy is totally grossed out, Nikki is very insanely embarrassed, and of course, neither of them knows how to deal with it. However, when Wayne tells Jonesy that his rather unpleasant experience means he'll never look at women the same way again, Jonesy is afraid of ending up like Wayne and decides to get over it in a hurry. Meanwhile Jude is having problems of his own – unsure of how he feels about being a "secret boyfriend" to super hottie, Melinda Wilson.

Jen can't stop talking about her new guy, Smithy. He's everything she's ever wanted in a guy – smart, funny, cute, and they're absolutely crazy about each other. However, when Smithy shows up to grab Jen for their date, the others are stunned to discover that Smithy is a total Jonesy clone – only with blonde hair! Nikki is especially creeped out – does this mean that, deep down, Jen has a crush on her boyfriend and her own stepbrother?! Jen denies that Smithy and Jonesy are anything alike, but when Nikki manages to get the two guys together and slap a blonde wig on Jonesy, Jen can't deny it any longer. She also can't look at Smithy without seeing Jonesy… and certainly can't kiss him! Unsure of what else to do, Jen decides to avoid both Smithy and Jonesy, maybe forever. Meanwhile, Jude is basking in adulation as the 'Zamboni dude' of the mall. However, when Jude steps on Ron's toes by policing the mall better than he can, the rent-a-cop is determined to shut 'Zamboni dude' down. And what better way to determine supremacy than a zamboni/golf cart showdown!

Living with Jonesy and his brothers is really beginning to get on Jen's nerves. They're typical guys and love playing pranks on each other. Between the whoopee cushions at dinner, the 'fart tackles' in the halls, and using each other's toothbrushes to clean the toilet, Jen can't get a moment's peace. Jen tries to be a good sport and take her lumps like a dude, but when Jonesy goes too far – not only making Jen repeatedly late for work, but taking her uniform in to make her think she's gained weight - Jen teams up with Wyatt to give Jonesy a taste of his own medicine. Meanwhile, Caitlin goes to deposit her Big Squeeze paycheck into the ATM when it goes haywire and starts shooting out hundred dollar bills. Caitlin misunderstands a bank announcement and thinks she's the winner of a bank contest, which sends her on a shopping spree of epic proportions! Elsewhere, Jonesy gets a job Eagle-watching in the mall for a bird protection agency named CRISPEE – Citizen's Really Into Protecting Eagles Everywhere – and, of course, gets fired.

Caitlin's life is turned upside-down when she meets not one, but two perfect guys. Handsome Vince seems like the ideal catch: tall, dark, and seriously cool, a young George Clooney in perfectly tailored packaging. But then there's sweet Blake, the incurable romantic and impoverished artist with floppy bangs, British charm and puppy dog eyes. Both are falling for Caitlin, and either would be an ideal boyfriend. The choice is impossible! So Caitlin decides to take Jonesy's advice and date both guys - until things go from romantic to frantic! Meanwhile, Jude discovers a crusty old memento from his days at 'Stick It' and decides to swap it online, with unexpected results. And Wyatt nearly loses it when he's forced to work with an incredibly annoying retired couple he nicknames 'the Bickersons'.

When Caitlin hands the gang free cell phones that her father's company is testing, the guys take full advantage of all the free calls they can make. The only problem with the phones is that the keypad set-up makes it very easy to make "bum calls". These bum calls lead to a series of misunderstandings that leave Caitlin thinking that Jonesy is hot for her, therefore forcing her to avoid him - and Jonesy thinking that Nikki has found a new boyfriend! Convinced he is going to get dumped, Jonesy begins to spy on Nikki in order to find this "new guy" and confront him in the hopes of saving their relationship. It all comes to a head when Caitlin, Nikki, the "new guy" and Jonesy have a showdown at Grind Me. Meanwhile, when Wyatt comes the conclusion that being humiliated improves his songwriting, he asks the gang to humiliate him in anyway they can.

Jonesy drags Nikki into the 'squawk box' booth to film a video in order to win tickets to the premiere of one of his fave sci-fi flicks, which Nikki is dead-set against seeing. Unfortunately for her, they're one of two couples that win, and find themselves on a 'double date' with uber-nerds Darth and taco girl Julie. Surprisingly, they bond when Darth and Jonesy film the movie in order to sell pirated DVDs, and Nikki decides Julie isn't so bad after talking her ear off during the movie. So imagine Nikki's surprise when Julie begins to avoid her! Meanwhile, when Jen, Caitlin, Tricia and the Clones discover they all have a date with the same gorgeous greeter god, they join forces to get even with all of the guys in the mall who have done them wrong. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Jen and Caitlin their first target turns out to be Jude, who has accidentally stood-up Monika, the hot dog girl – thanks to a bout of hives he developed. As things heat up, everyone ends up at the Big Squeeze in a battle of the sexes - with lemons.

When Jen arrives with a box of donations for the mall charity clothing drive, it's not long before Jonesy's gotten his paws into it - finding some stylin' old duds of his dad's – aviator shades, a worn-out jean jacket and a motorcycle helmet. So what if Nikki thinks he looks like an idiot in them! Fortunately, Jonesy's new look pays off in mucho deniro when Laird, a 'cool hunter' for a market research firm, catches his cool vibe and hires him to scout the street for new teen trends. Being more of a mall rat than a cool cat, however, Jonesy goes undercover in the food court, only to learn what Nikki has been telling him all along. The mall is full of fashion sheep! When Nikki bets him that he won't last another day as a cool hunter, Jonesy turns to the one place he knows he can get good advice: Jude's fortune cookies. Unfortunately, one wrong move threatens Jen's charity, Nikki's sanity, Jude's supply of fortune cookies… and, of course, gets Jonesy fired!

When Wyatt screws up royally and calls his new girlfriend Marlowe by his ex-girlfriend Serena's name, he must pull out all the stops to make it up to her. Caitlin suggests that Wyatt do a "Serena purge" to finally rid his life and his psyche, of everything even remotely related to his ex. Only the purge is harder than Wyatt thought. Could he still have lingering feelings for Serena? Meanwhile, when a model car is left in the atrium, Jonesy turns it into a make-out car for the low, low price of five bucks. That is until Ron announces that it's "PDA Awareness Month" and starts arresting all of Jonesy's customers. Jonesy is forced to go 'underground', selling secret make-out maps of the mall instead. Elsewhere, Jude falls in love with a beautiful French Canadian figure skater, Claudette. Since they don't speak the same language, they must bond over their shared love of blue snow cones and Coach Halder's secret penchant for figure skating?!

When Jonesy learns from the gang that they don't keep all of their cash stuffed in their wallets, but actually have 'bank accounts', Jonesy decides to open one as well. Only when he sits down to take a load off at an empty desk in the bank, a cute girl sits adjacent to him and asks him for a loan. Only too willing to please, Jonesy grants her the loan in addition to about a hundred more - as he pretends to be Ed Lounsbury, visiting from head office. Meanwhile, the Clones have roped Nikki into posing for a Khaki Barn ad for Mall Monthly magazine only to learn that her unflattering shot is the 'before' photo and the smiling Clones are the Khaki Barn 'after'. With huge hideous Khaki Barn posters of her being hung up around the mall, Nikki decides it's time for some serious payback. Jen, on the other hand, is in serious save-up mode as she tries to come up with her half of the cash to go on the senior snowboarding trip to Whistler - without having to take out a bogus bank loan from Jonesy. In the end, the real Mr. Lounsbury shows up, and needless to say, Jonesy is fired. Even though he was never actually hired!

After seeing how cute Tricia's new purse pup is, Caitlin decides she wants a little canine too. Only when Jonesy offers Caitlin a discount dog from 'All Pets Are Off', the pet store he works at, an oblivious Caitlin ends up with a ferret instead. Caitlin names the ferret, er… dog, Muffin, and plops her precious pup in her purse. Only being a ferret, Muffin escapes, prompting Ron Rent-a-cop to stake out the rodent. Meanwhile, psyched to see a new flick everyone has already seen, Wyatt sets off to the Gigantoplex by himself. Only Wyatt gets stuck helping the people in front of him learn how to use the automatic ticket machine. Wyatt is finally about to get to see the movie, when the gang chases Caitlin's ferret into the theatre - only to have Ron shut it down for extermination. Elsewhere, Jude is thrilled to find an old silver dollar. Only when it bounces away, Jude chases it around the mall until both he and the coin are stuck in an air vent. Thankfully, Jude finds his dollar, Muffin finds Jude, and the gang finds Muffin. Unfortunately, Ron finds the gang, confiscates muffin, Jude loses his coin again, and of course, Jonesy gets fired.

A teen movie is shooting in the mall. When the gang hears there are auditions for extras at Grind Me, Jonesy and Caitlin (despite the cold sore she's sporting) are certain they're going to be 'discovered'. However, it's Jen that catches the eye of the director, landing her a supporting role in the film when an actress drops out. Still hoping to make an impression on the director, Jonesy becomes Jen's assistant and ends up doing her laundry instead. Only, he's thrilled to learn that the dirty socks of the mall's new 'it' girl fetches a pretty penny from fans on the open market. Meanwhile, upset about her huge cold sore (or as Caitlin prefers: her 'lip thingy'), Caitlin decides to swear off boys and spends the day with Jude instead. When Nikki and Wyatt assume that Caitlin is seeing someone new but continue to catch sight of her with Jude, the gang begins to wonder. Could Jude and Caitlin be… dating?!

Diego and Robbie are driving Jen nuts. She can't stand having stepbrothers – especially the variety that stick frozen peas up your nose, and draw on your face with marker. Caitlin, on the other hand, loves boys. More specifically one named Sawyer. When Caitlin realizes Sawyer is a 'boob man', she decides it's time she get herself a bigger chest - despite what her friends have to say about it. When Caitlin returns in a water bra Jonesy is surprised how much it's perked up 'the girls'. However, he's even more surprised when he hears how much Caitlin paid for it. Deciding that there's a BIG market for chest enhancements that's just waiting to be filled - Jonesy declares it his calling, nay, his civic duty to provide affordable water bras for girls with small chests. Of course, Nikki believes it's her civic duty to provide guys with small brains a swift blow to the head! Jen couldn't agree more. Guys! At least she only has three stepbrothers. That is, until Robbie lets it slip that there could be another on the way. Jen is stunned. Her mom and Jonesy's dad are having… a BABY?! Realizing that she's the last in the family to know, Jen is sent into a tailspin as she follows every trick in the book, trying to determine whether she's getting a baby sister… or yet another brother!

Tired of Nikki always being right, Jonesy challenges Nikki to an I.Q. test. Of course, Nikki isn't the least bit worried - especially after patting Jonesy down to ensure he isn't cheating. Unfortunately, Nikki has no clue that Jonesy has an even bigger post-test scam planned. When Jonesy is declared a genius (top one percentile!) he gets a job as an I.T. adviser at Bits n' Bytes and starts wearing genius-approved corduroy. It isn't until Nikki scams the scammer, that Jonesy's lack of book smarts is finally revealed. Meanwhile, Coach Halder, who hasn't had a vacation in six long years, jets off to Mexico and gets his old friend Jane to fill in for him. When Jane treats Jen like a mature, responsible human being (imagine that!), Jen quickly develops a 'girl crush' on her. Elsewhere, Jude stumbles upon his mom's collection of 'Sex and the City'-style DVDs, is instantly hooked, and is soon quoting the characters and giving relationship advice. Running out of places to watch the DVDs, Jude ends up breaking into Ron's office to 'watch his stories' on the security monitor, and ends up getting the rent-a-cop hooked too!

When Jonesy starts working at Rub-a-Dub Tubs, and tries to sell the Bickersons, George and Gracie, a tub - he ends up breaking up their fifty-year marriage instead. The gang is appalled and Nikki insists that until Jonesy gets them back together, she is no longer speaking to him. However, Gracie is enjoying the single life, and George is having a blast working at the Gigantoplex – sneaking the mall-walkers in for free movies and candy that sticks to their dentures! Without George to bicker with, Gracie soon turns to Nikki, baiting her into arguments and sucking her dry. Jonesy must hurry and get 'the Bickersons' back together – and fast – or the damage to Nikki may be permanent! Meanwhile, Caitlin finds a gym bag in the lemon and realizes that she's not the only one who works at the Big Squeeze. Through letters written in invisible lemon ink, Caitlin soon falls for her mystery co-worker, Kevin. He may work the opposite shift (and as it turns out, play for the 'opposite team') but he and Caitlin are a match made in a lemon. Meanwhile, Jude is convinced that the Bickersons are his grandparents and worries that if they don't get back together soon, he may cease to exist.

Marlowe has landed a new job at Spin This and she couldn't be more stoked. She's thrilled to be working in the 'music biz', and can't believe how much she has in common her new boss, Serena – including Wyatt, of course! While Marlowe is thrilled, Wyatt is quite the opposite. He can't stand that his new girlfriend is working with his old one - especially given the way he acted when he and Serena broke up. Jonesy, of course, is quick to offer his advice. Wyatt needs to break them up, before they break him up. Meanwhile, Jonesy puts his noggin to work at his new job as an assistant optician at 'You Got Framed'. Working on commission, Jonesy begins offering free eye exams to people using a blurry eye chart in order to sell glasses to people who don't really need them! There's soon chaos in the mall as everyone, including Jen, Caitlin and Jude walk around with prescription frames – completely blind to what Jonesy is up to. So blind that Jen is convinced that she keeps seeing a guy from her past that is avoiding her, only to learn he's a self-conscious stranger, hiding a secret.

When the new hire at the Penalty Box, Gryphon, asks Jen out on a date, she's in heaven. Jen and Gryphon have the best first date ever – swinging on a porch swing in Willows & Williams, while bonding over pint-sized samples from the food court. Only the gang suspects Gryphon of being cheap when he starts bailing on the bill, sneaking into movies (and getting them all kicked out) and refusing to pay for bus fare - forcing Jen to walk home! The broke and blistered Jen really likes Gryphon and doesn't want to see the truth. Meanwhile, Caitlin is forced to use the Loathsome Washrooms and falls in love with a hot Spanish voice she hears through an air vent. Unfortunately, she starts dating the Spanish guy's best friend, Jasper, by accident. In a comedy of errors, Caitlin tries to learn Spanish, while Jasper mistakes Caitlin for the Spanish-speaker and tries to woo her through Latin dance. Elsewhere, Jude sees that Ron Rent-a-cop has infrared goggles - that can be used to see farts! Jude makes it his mission to catch as many farts in action as possible, even if it means force-feeding the gang Wonder Taco.

It's Christmas. Of course, this means there is mass chaos in the mall, from the top of Toy Mountain (where Jen and Wyatt are collecting gifts for children) - to the bottom of the mall Christmas tree (under which Nikki is hiding from her mother, who is volunteering at the Khaki Barn wrapping table). To top it all off, Ron Rent-a-cop seems determined to put an end to Christmas, confiscating all of the decorations in the mall. While Caitlin is concerned, this is the least of Jonesy's worries. At Nikki's house, he prides himself on being Parental Jonesy – a polite, considerate, basically delightful guy. However, in the mall he's Regular Jonesy, who as we know, is none of those things. Will Parental Jonesy survive in Regular Jonesy's hood long enough to prevent Nikki's mom from realizing what kind of Jonesy her daughter is dating? When things come to a head between Jonesy, Nikki, and her mom, and Wyatt returns to find Jen has 'accidentally' opened every one of the gifts at Toy Mountain to find out what's inside - the gang end up in the mall lock-up. Surprisingly, Santa is also there and Ron is serving egg nog!?

When Jonesy gets a new job at Travel Schmavel, he starts working with a Latina hottie named Joanie. At first, Nikki is oblivious to how hot Joanie is… until Wyatt and Jude keep reminding her. Constantly. While Jonesy has no interest in dating Joanie (the two 'Jonesmeisters' are so alike it would be like dating himself!), they start hanging out as friends and soon Nikki is stuck smack dab in the middle – literally in the middle of Joanie and Jonesy in the movie theatre, covered in popcorn. Feelings get hurt and jealousies rage, until Jonesy shows Nikki how much she means to him. After all, he wouldn't go to the Museum of Civilization for anyone else! Meanwhile, when Jen gets stuck doing inventory at the Penalty Box, Jen gets Jude hired so that he can help out. Jude loves counting things! Unfortunately, Jude's particular brand of 'chill' infects Coach and sales drop, threatening the stores very existence. It's up to Jen to help Coach snap out of his new Jude-inspired calmness, and get the Penalty Box up and running again at full Type A efficiency. Stat!

Marlowe and Wyatt have been getting on each other's nerves. So much so that when Marlowe says that they need to talk, Wyatt's certain she's going to break up with him - and bolts. If she can't find him, she can't dump him! While Wyatt's hiding from Marlowe, Jonesy runs right into her. Worried that another break-up would be a repeat of the 'Serena situation', Jonesy tries to convince Marlowe not to do the deed. When that doesn't work he begs. And when that fails, he convinces Marlowe that the news will be easier coming from him. While Jonesy has no intention of following through with breaking up with Wyatt for Marlowe, the gang insists they have to tell him. Things, on the other hand, are going great for Caitlin. Not only did she meet a total cutie, Caleb, at a party, she's finally completed the Khaki Barn frequent shopper's card she's had since she was fourteen! She's finally going to get that cami she's been lusting after – for free! Only when Caleb turns out not to be the guy she remembers, a distracted Caitlin writes a fake phone number down on the back of her card and gives it to him. Now she must track down Caleb, or say goodbye to her khaki card forever!

With the impending doom of being forced to sit at the kiddie table at her cousin's upcoming wedding, Jen turns to the gang to help her find a date. Nikki/Jonesy and Caitlin each set off to find Jen's 'Mr. Perfect', and do very well. Both Dax and Dougray are great guys! However, when Jen picks Nikki/Jonesy's guy over Caitlin's guy, jealousies rage and Caitlin decides to teach Dougray the 'way of the Jen'. The training works, and Jen decides to go to the wedding with Dougray instead – which, of course, upsets Nikki/Jonesy. Their guy is perfect. Better than perfect! An all out dating war ensues, not between the guys, but between Nikki/Jonesy and Caitlin – in a bid to get Jen to pick their Mr. Perfect. Meanwhile, in an effort to woo Yummy Mummy, Ron arrests Wyatt and throws him in mall lock-up until he agrees to teach Ron how to serenade her on guitar. Unfortunately, Ron has never played an instrument. Elsewhere, Jude decides it's time for a 'vacay' and sets about throwing a luau and getting a tan under the mall's fluorescent lights. Surprisingly, it works. Oh, and in the end Jen goes to the wedding alone and is forced to sit at the kiddie table with Diego and Robbie.

After saving Darth from a bully who's strung him up over the mezzanine railing, Caitlin finds herself under the protection of the Jedi force. Or rather forced into protection by Darth, who claims that his honour requires that he now save her life. Desperate to shake the little Jedi master, Caitlin decides to manufacture a 'near-death' experience. Only by fake accident #4 Caitlin realizes that Darth is the worst Jedi ever! Apparently, taco girl Julie doesn't think so and is intent on winning her boyfriend back by fighting Caitlin - taco vs. lemon. While Caitlin is throwing herself in harm's way, Jen is trying to save herself from it, after incurring the wrath of an e-mail that's predicted bad luck forever if not forwarded. While the girls are bruised and battered, Jude, Wayne, Wyatt and Jonesy are sacked out in Underground Video, watching a box of three-decade-old security tapes that Jude found stashed in an air vent. The tapes turn out to be pure gold, as the guys follow the exploits of a trouble-making teen that Jonesy considers his new idol. Only when the teen's identity is revealed Jonesy is in for an eye-opener - as is Darth, who gets caught between the girls, shot with Julie's hot sauce in one eye, and Caitlin's lemon juice in the other.