I Fell in Love With a Lesbian at the Zombie Luau

We were hiking the Kalalua Trail on the Nā Pali coast in Kauai when it hit us. Mark turned about twenty minutes later. I thought he was joking. He came at me with that open-mouthed vacant stare, arms outstretched like a cartoon sleepwalker. He would have gotten me too, if he hadn't slipped on a muddy tree root and fallen down a thousand feet off a cliff. After I came down from the trail, I dropped the car into drive, floored the gas pedal, and went Bowling for Zombies.