EBOOK
About
The Most Important Meal of the Day...is Weird.
Why so glum, friend? Are you feeling fatigued? Logy? Knackered?
Do you require sustenance? A boost of energy to reinvigorate your existence?
We have good news for you, then:
The Bravest, the Newest, the Weirdest...now in edible form!
Delivered directly to your body-meat, rich in nutrients and portion-sized!
Consumption of BRAVE NEW WEIRD is not for the meek of constitution. Possible side effects include vertigo; mild bruising; bone disruption; blushing of the internal organs; raging vapors; flustered nethers syndrome; tooth-in-eye disease; primordial ideation; intermittent gliding; manic progressive rock woodwind soloing; homicidal thoughts (common); deicidal thoughts (commoner); systemic disruption of, and erroneous erections in relation to, baked goods; inclement leftism; disgovernalia; Pavlov's reflux; psychotronic obsession; anal leakage; recurring heel turns; erotic heresy; obsequiousness; Malodor, malphesance, Mallory; mountain mania; Pustulia Angelus; big ol' insect legs.
Do not consume in direct sunlight.
Or moonlight.
Any light, really.
And, as with all Tenebrous Brand Consumables™:
Step bravely.
Do not panic.
26 of 2024's Best and Weirdest stories.
Why so glum, friend? Are you feeling fatigued? Logy? Knackered?
Do you require sustenance? A boost of energy to reinvigorate your existence?
We have good news for you, then:
The Bravest, the Newest, the Weirdest...now in edible form!
Delivered directly to your body-meat, rich in nutrients and portion-sized!
Consumption of BRAVE NEW WEIRD is not for the meek of constitution. Possible side effects include vertigo; mild bruising; bone disruption; blushing of the internal organs; raging vapors; flustered nethers syndrome; tooth-in-eye disease; primordial ideation; intermittent gliding; manic progressive rock woodwind soloing; homicidal thoughts (common); deicidal thoughts (commoner); systemic disruption of, and erroneous erections in relation to, baked goods; inclement leftism; disgovernalia; Pavlov's reflux; psychotronic obsession; anal leakage; recurring heel turns; erotic heresy; obsequiousness; Malodor, malphesance, Mallory; mountain mania; Pustulia Angelus; big ol' insect legs.
Do not consume in direct sunlight.
Or moonlight.
Any light, really.
And, as with all Tenebrous Brand Consumables™:
Step bravely.
Do not panic.
26 of 2024's Best and Weirdest stories.