Unintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters

In the spirit of A Series of Unfortunate Events and the Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place series, The Unintentional Adventures of the Bland Sisters will captivate middle-grade readers looking for humor, hijinks, and a swashbuckling good time. Meet Jaundice and Kale Bland, two sisters who avoid excitement at any cost. Together, they patiently await the return of their parents, who left on an errand years ago and have never returned. One day, the Bland sisters are kidnapped by an all-female band of pirates. They're unwillingly swept into a high-seas romp that might just lead to solving the mystery of what happened to their parents. With Roald Dahl-esque wit, this new series is for readers who are looking for an anything-but-bland adventure.

Back from their adventure on the high seas, Jaundice and Kale are settling into a quiet life in Dullsville, just the way they like it. The tea is tepid, the oatmeal is tasteless, and the socks are ripe for darning-that is, until Aunt Shallot shows up and reveals herself to be anything but the dull relation they were expecting. Instead, she tells her nieces that she is Magique, Queen of Magic, and that she's on her way to a big show and is in need of two willing assistants. As Magique and the Bland sisters board the Uncanny Express, they meet a cast of mystifying characters. And when Magique goes missing, it's up to Jaundice and Kale to solve the mystery-with the help of famous detective Hugo Fromage.

After returning to their home in Dullsville and finding it in absolute shambles, Jaundice and Kale Bland are rescued by high-flying aviatrix Beatrix Airdale. This time, they're jetting off (literally) to Egypt to uncover the mysteries of a magical scarab. By way of Casablanca, and after foiling multiple attacks along the way (thanks to Jaundice's nautical knot-tying skills and Kale's super-sleuth powers of observation), the Bland Sisters are reunited with their parents. But it turns out that Mom and Dad aren't as bland-or as Bland-as Jaundice and Kale remember. Thanks to their mother's old archaeology notebook, the Bland Sisters uncover their parents' real identities and help them achieve victory in one final family-filled adventure.