AUDIOBOOK
About
Xander
Theres something seriously wrong with me.
For once, Im not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I'm talking about, well, everything else.
All my roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have me at the center of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when its a reminder of how alone I've always been. Ive always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more.
Because Iwantto find my someone.
Except the one person my brain has latched onto is the one person I can never have. The one person whos there to help me when my panic attacks get too much.
Nurse Derek.
Derek
I should never have offered to treat Xander Moore.
And now here I am years later, my life on hold, while I wait day in and day out for the call that Xander needs me. It always comes, and I always answer, but Im starting to dread those visits.
Lately, Im looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient.
When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that I do, I get to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. I get glimpses of a man whos so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help my feelings for him.
Lines begin to blur and I have no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows us to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isnt enough for either of us.
Its wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but my heart wont listen. Its decided on Xander, and it doesnt want to wait. Neither does Xander.
But if I want to keep my job, I have to resist.
I just wish he didnt make that so difficult.
Theres something seriously wrong with me.
For once, Im not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on my life. I'm talking about, well, everything else.
All my roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have me at the center of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when its a reminder of how alone I've always been. Ive always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more.
Because Iwantto find my someone.
Except the one person my brain has latched onto is the one person I can never have. The one person whos there to help me when my panic attacks get too much.
Nurse Derek.
Derek
I should never have offered to treat Xander Moore.
And now here I am years later, my life on hold, while I wait day in and day out for the call that Xander needs me. It always comes, and I always answer, but Im starting to dread those visits.
Lately, Im looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient.
When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that I do, I get to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. I get glimpses of a man whos so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help my feelings for him.
Lines begin to blur and I have no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows us to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isnt enough for either of us.
Its wrong, unethical, and unprofessional, but my heart wont listen. Its decided on Xander, and it doesnt want to wait. Neither does Xander.
But if I want to keep my job, I have to resist.
I just wish he didnt make that so difficult.
Related Subjects
Extended Details
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